Ye've heard hoo the deil, as he
wauchel'd through Beith,
Wi' a wife in ilka oxter and ane in
his teeth,
When someone cried oot, "Will ye tak'
mine the morn?"
He wagged his auld tail while he
cocked his horn,
But only said Imph-m! That useful
word Imph-m,
Wi' sic a big mouthfu' he couldna
say - ay!
When I was a laddie langsyne at the
schule,
The maister aye ca'd me a dunce and
a fule;
For a' that I said, I could ne'er
understan'
Unless when he bawl'd, "Jamie, haud
oot er han'!"
Then I gloom'd and said Imph-m, I
glaunch'd and said Imph-m,
I wisna ower proud, but ower dour to
say - ay!
Ae day a queer word, as lang
nebbit's himsel',
He vow'd he would thrash me if I
widna spell.
Quo' I, "Maister Quill," wi' a kin
o' a swither,
"I'll spell ye the word if ye'll
spell me anither:
Let's hear ye spell Imph-m, that
common word Imph-m,
That auld Scotch word Imph-m, ye ken
it means - ay!"
Had ye seen hoo he glower'd, hoo he
scratched his big pate,
An' shouted, "Ye villain, get oot o'
my gate!
Get aff to yer seat, ye're the
plaque o' the schule!
The deil o' me kens if maist rogue
or fule!"
But I only said Imph-m, that common
word Imph-m,
That auld farran' Imph-m, that
stan's for an - ay!
An' when a brisk wooer, I courted my
Jean -
O Aron's braw Isaacs the pride an'
the Queen -
When 'neath my grey plaidie wi'
heart beatin' fain,
I speired in a whisper if she'd be
my ain,
She blushed and said Imph-m, that
charming word Imph-m,
A thousan' times better and sweeter
than -ay!
