The Scots Independent Newspaper Online

The Flag in the Wind is pleased to welcome our new contributor, Donald Bain.

Donald recently returned to Scotland following a career as an international research scientist. From 1968 to 1977 he headed up the SNP Research Department and was a member of the team which drew up the ‘It’s Scotland’s Oil’ campaigns.

The Scottophobia Myth

The English have no problem with the Scots. Their attitude to Britishness is another matter.

Contrary to all the stories in this week’s Scottish press the English are not in any significant way prejudiced against the Scots. On the contrary they seem to love us more than we perhaps deserve. This is curious because they are not particularly fond of most other nationalities, including those (the Americans, Australians and Welsh) with whom they superficially have much in common. And all this is despite our export to England of disproportionate numbers of politicians, journalists, football managers and serial killers, none of which categories enjoys high public esteem.

British Bulldog There are as always exceptions but the vast majority of the English population seem completely at ease with Scottish devolution. They may envy the Scots such advantages as free personal care for the elderly and the absence of up-front university tuition fees but the situation inspires more admiration than jealousy. Likewise the existence of blatantly undemocratic anomalies, most famously the “West Lothian” question, gives rise to very little real resentment, despite the seemingly wilful attempts of the current Westminster Government to use their Scottish MPs to force through unpopular policies for which there is no majority in England.

Doomsters have been forecasting an “English backlash” for many years. But, infuriatingly for the opponents of devolution, this threat has never materialised.

Until now, that is. To read the soul-searching articles, the pious and sorrowful editorials and the “I told you so” letters to the editors in our national press it would appear that the people of England have suddenly decided that enough is enough. Scottophobia, a phenomenon once associated with the arrival in London of James VI and I and his retinue of carpetbaggers, is back with a vengeance.

The proof for this is a single opinion poll, by ICM for the BBC’s Politics Show, which purports to show that 55% of English voters think it would be “wrong” for a Scottish MP to be Prime Minister in the Westminster Parliament. At face value this does seem to indicate an English revolt against what Jeremy Paxman has termed “the Scottish Raj”.

This polling evidence is, however, deeply flawed. Apart from the wording of the question the polling took place during a week when the political agenda was completely saturated with the details of the ongoing war for the post of prime minister between Blair and Brown. In this context it is unsurprising if poll respondents interpreted the question as code for “would you prefer Brown to Blair?” And, given that other polling has indicated that Brown is possibly the only politician more unpopular than Blair, it is equally unsurprising that Brown lost. The poll indicates not Scottophobia but Brownophobia.

How Brown’s clumsy venture into identity politics backfired.

There is a delicious irony in the way that Brown’s perception that his Scottish roots are an obstacle to his political ambitions have been his undoing. For years he has been trying to promote “Britishness” as a means, as he sees it, of gaining acceptance in the English heartlands. In this quest his behaviour has become increasingly bizarre, starting with the convoluted logic of the pro-British, anti-Scottish tracts he co-authored with the current Scotland Secretary (part-time) and continuing with calls for Union flags to be flown in private gardens and defence of British imperialism.

Kirkcaldy - Birthplace of 'is he a Scot' Brown But not only has this flopped completely. (As Ian Bell says, in his Herald column, “To put it bluntly, 55% of those polled in England regard him as a foreign politician. His democratic legitimacy, far less his ambition to enter Downing Street, is being called into question.”) More fundamentally the strategy is self-defeating because the English are distinctly more ambivalent about the “British” than they are about the Scots.

The concept of Britishness is not only vague but varies from place to place: it can be a broad geographical description like Pacific Rim or North Atlantic or an ideology;or it can be an evocation of a shared past, as in Gibraltar or British Columbia. In England the conventional wisdom is that “English” and “British” are interchangeable but the reality is more subtle. In England there are no “English Asians” as there are “Scots Asians” in Scotland: there are only “British Asians”.

Similarly there are “British Jews” but no “English Jews”. Paradoxically many of the most quintessentially English personalities in sport and the media are invariably referred to as “Black Britons”.

I would hesitate to designate this as racism. It is more an unthinking or unconscious compartmentalisation of identity. For this very reason Brown’s clumsy attempts to manipulate this highly nuanced area of identity probably increases the distrust which surrounds him.

What Price Democracy?

The police investigation into the “cash for peerages” scandal continues. This week has seen announcements that various witnesses have been interviewed under caution and that official investigations are expected to continue throughout the summer. Disappointingly, however, the extension of the inquiries only extends at present to the controversial City Academies, since they are specifically linked to the peerages question.

House of Lords I suspect that the question of peerages for sale is only a tiny part of the picture. Having spent most of my working life in Italy I am pretty used to the reality of large-scale political corruption. While not entirely sharing the smug conviction of expat Brit colleagues that “this could never happen back in Blighty” I tended to assume that the UK political system, for all its faults, was relatively clean. Now I am not so sure.

One surprising outcome of this whole affair is the new credibility it has bestowed on the SNP’s Westminster team. There have been those in the party (and I have been guilty myself) who have tended to see participation at Westminster as worthy but increasingly irrelevant. How wrong we were! Such is the involvement of the three main parties in dubious financial dealings that only the presence of the SNP-PC ensured that any serious investigation took place. And, as the story unfolds, only resort to parliamentary privilege can guarantee that crucial evidence is not smothered by threats of libel actions.

The Working Life of Linda Fabiani MSP

Click here to read SNP MSP Linda Fabiani's working diary.

SYNOPSIS

Thursday 11th May 2006

SALMOND LOOKS TO NEW ERA FOR SCOTLAND IN EUROPE

SNP Leader, Alex Salmond MP, addressed the General Assembly of the European Free Alliance (EFA) in the Hemisphere of the European Parliament in Brussels. Mr Salmond set out a new approach for Scotland in Europe with the election of a Scottish government led by the SNP after May 2007 and highlighted the positive impact small nations can make within the EU.

He said "Scotland's future is as a full, independent member of the European Union.

Alex Salmond "Europe is changing, Scotland is changing. The Estonians had tanks on their streets 15 years ago: now they have more influence in the EU than Scotland, one of Europe's most historic nations.

"I look at the 25 flags above me and do not see my own. Scotland could do so much better than we do now. If the European Union of 25 tells us anything it is that with 14 states in the EU smaller than Scotland, independence is more important now than ever.

"Looking around Europe today, at the success of small member states including Ireland, Finland, the Czech Republic and Baltic States it is clear that full membership offers the greatest opportunities for Scotland, and for the other nations represented here today.

"With a seat at the top table of Europe, nations can speak up more effectively for their national interests, protect key industries and sectors, and succeed in creating new opportunities for economic growth.

"If anyone suggested that Ireland¹s interests in Europe would be better served by being represented by London and the UK, they would be laughed out the room. And yet, remarkably, in the current Scottish Executive, they still believe that Scotland should stay silent while British ministers take the lead.

"Next year, I intend becoming the new First Minister of Scotland. SNP success in May 2007 will open the door to a new era for Scotland in Europe, for a new relationship with the EU.

"An SNP government in Edinburgh will not be taking orders from the UK government in London, but instead will take every opportunity to speak direct to our partners across Europe and ensure Scotland¹s ideas, concerns and views are heard more clearly in the Commission, Parliament and Council of Minister.

"As part of this step forward, in my first 100 days as First Minister, I will press for Scotland to take the lead in negotiations on fisheries in the EU. With the UK¹s predominant fishing industry, it is a disgrace that Scottish Ministers are little more than bystanders in the most important ministerial discussions.

"My focus will be on winning the best deal for Scotland within the EU and as part of that an SNP administration will set a clear target to bring new European investment to our country.

"Scotland has 25% of the EU¹s offshore wind potential. We have 10% of EU wave and 25% of EU tidal potential indeed the Pentland Firth has been described as the Saudi Arabia of tidal power.

"Alongside this huge natural advantage in renewable power, Scotland also has some of the world¹s leading sites and technologies for carbon capture and storage, using and enhancing recovery from depleted oil reservoirs under the North Sea.

"With all this natural advantage, Scotland should be at the forefront of Europe¹s green energy revolution. That is why I will make the creation of an EU Renewable and Low Carbon Energy Research Centre, based in Scotland, a central focus for an SNP led Scottish government.

"I firmly believe that Scotland has an important role to play in the future of the EU. Independence will open the door to full participation, but next year, with a real Scottish government, representing Scottish interests first and foremost, our nation can take some big steps forward.

Friday 12th May 2006

UN APPROVES SCOTTISH CENTRE

MORAY TO HOST UN TRAINING FACILITY

The United Nations has given formal approval today (Friday) for the construction and opening of a training centre in Scotland. The decision was announced today at a UN conference in Geneva attended by a delegation from Moray including Angus Robertson MP, the vice-Convener of Moray Council Alasdair Urquhart and local Project Director May East.

A centre will now be established in Findhorn, Moray and be formally designated as part of the UN and CIFAL network (French acronym for International Training Centres for Local Actors).

Angus Robertson Regular seminars and training will be hosted at the Findhorn centre for local government officials and diplomats from around the world. The centre will specialise in environmental policy and best practise in sustainability.

Speaking at the United Nations conference, UN under-Secretary General Marcel Boisard expressed his “thanks and deep gratitude” to the local project team who made the proposal for a Scottish training centre. Senior UN officials will now travel to Scotland to participate in the formal opening of the Findhorn centre later this year.

Speaking from Geneva SNP Foreign Affairs spokesman and Moray MP Angus Robertson said:

“This decision by the UN is a tremendous success for Moray and Scotland.

We are now going to host the only UN training centre in the country, which will be a boost for jobs and tourism.

“Moray and Findhorn have been recognised as the ideal place for people to travel to from around the world.

The vice-Convener of Moray Council Alasdair Urquhart said:

“I am delighted that Moray has been recognised by the UN as an excellent location for their first training centre in the UK. The UN has considered the plans for a centre at Findhorn and given it a go-ahead for the project.

“I was pleased to be able to meet with the deputy-Secretary General of the UN and discuss the role of Moray Council as a potential partner.

“We now need to work with other public and private sector partners to make the centre a reality and bring the benefits of investment, jobs and tourism.”

The Findhorn Project Director May East added:

“The Findhorn project team has been working for years to reach this approval stage by the United Nations. We are delighted that the UN has said yes to the Findhorn training centre.

“In concrete terms this means that delegations will regularly visit Scotland from around the world to learn about developments in environmental planning and sustainable development.

“In the months ahead before the formal opening we will finalise the local partnership involving public and private sector. This is a great result for Findhorn, Moray and Scotland.”

Tuesday 16th May 2006

ANGUS MACNEIL WELCOMES HOUSE OF COMMONS COMMITTEE’S RESPECT FOR POLICE INQUIRY INTO PEERAGES

The SNP MP who initiated the police investigation into donations for peerages, Angus MacNeil, has welcomed news that the Public Administration Committee will respect the investigation and suspend any inquiries that cut across the police’s work.

ANGUS MACNEIL The Public Administration Committee has said they will suspend any inquiries until the end of July and their chairman, Tony Wright MP, will then contact the police for an update.

Commenting on the latest developments Mr MacNeil said:

"I welcome the Committee’s decision and appreciate the respect they are showing towards the police investigation.

"It is also welcome to see a Committee take its responsibilities seriously and allow law enforcers to undertake what is a serious investigation and one which the Lords’ Appointments Committee overlooked.

“With such a lengthy inquiry underway by the police it is vitally important that they undertake their work unhindered by anything that could prejudice it.”

EU PLAN THREATENS EXPLOITATION OF WESTERN SAHARA

HUDGHTON CALLS FOR STRINGENT MONITORING OF MOROCCO COMPLIANCE

Responding to today's vote in the European Parliament to approve a fisheries agreement between the EU and Morocco, SNP MEP Ian Hudghton expressed his disappointment with the outcome and called for strict monitoring to ensure Morocco complies with its obligations.

Mr Hudghton joined other MEPs who voted to reject the inclusion of Western Saharan waters in the agreement. Western Sahara is under Moroccan occupation and there are fears that the fisheries agreement could undermine moves to reach a negotiated settlement to the decades long dispute. Under the terms of the agreement the European Union will make an annual contribution of some twenty five million pounds to Morocco in return for access to its waters.

Ian Hudghton Speaking from Strasbourg following the vote, Mr Hudghton - a member of the Parliament's Fisheries Committee - said:

"Whilst I'm disappointed with the outcome of this vote, it doesn't let the EU off the hook in terms of its duty to the people of Western Sahara. We were at least able to include a clause which allows the agreement to be suspended if international obligations are contravened and I call upon the European Commission to stringently monitor the agreement's implementation.

My major concern remains the potential for exploitation of Western Sahara's natural resources - resources that rightly belong to a long oppressed people who deserve our help and support. We must back international efforts to enable the Saharawi people to determine their own future and it should be up to them to decide how best to harness their natural resources."

Speaking during the debate in Parliament, Mr Hudghton said:

"Over the years I have become increasingly sceptical about the value of fisheries agreements between the EU and Third Countries. Usually only a few member states benefit, while all EU taxpayers foot the bill - and I am not confident that EU authorities can adequately monitor fishing activity or can guarantee that the money we pay ends up where it should.

This particular agreement has an added dimension. The absolute right of a people to self-determination. The right of the Saharawi people to control their own resources. We should not be signing up to any deal with Morocco which leaves in any doubt whether Western Sahara waters can be controlled by the Moroccan government."

Tuesday 16th May 2006

BLAIR EXPOSES HIS OWN ENERGY REVIEW AS A SHAM

Responding to today’s (Tuesday) announcement by Blair that replacing the UK’s nuclear power stations is “back on the agenda with a vengeance” Mike Weir MP, the SNP shadow energy spokesperson said that it exposed Blair’s energy review as a complete sham.

Mike Weir Mr Weir said:

”This just exposes Blair’s energy review as a complete sham. Instead of waiting for it to report he has just shown he will ignore it and plough on with his nuclear madness.

“The fact he has completely ignored the last review, which came out against nuclear, shows the present review is a fig leaf for a decision in favour of nuclear.

“It also confirms what was said by Jeremy Leggett, a Government advisor on renewables, that the Government had given up on renewables and is intent on going down the path of building new nuclear stations.

“Scotland has a huge potential for renewables, yet the present government seems determined to undermine it by insisting on nuclear and supporting a transmission regime that works against renewables in northern Scotland.

“Scotland neither needs nor wants nuclear power stations. The SNP energy review will set out options for a non-nuclear future.”

rnment advisor on renewables, that the Government had given up on renewables and is intent on going down the path of building new nuclear stations.

“Scotland neither needs nor wants nuclear power stations. The SNP energy review will set out options for a non-nuclear future.”

Thomas Muir Lecture

Michael Russell is giving a lecture on Scottish Martyr Thomas Muir in the Moreig Hotel Annan Road Dumfries, at 3 pm on Saturday 27th May 06.

The meeting has been organised by Dumfries CA as the first of what they hope will become an annual commemoration of Scotland's heroes in memory of that great nationalist Tom McCallum.

Gordon & Carmen Wright

Second-hand, Fine & Rare Scottish Books.

Regular catalogues issued by email. To subscribe, email us at: Gordon.Wright11@btopenworld.com

Gordon Wright’s Scottish Photo Library

Spanning forty-five years and featuring a wide variety of illustrations in colour and black and white covering all aspects of Scottish life from Orkney to the Border country. Thousands of personality portraits.

Images for reproduction. Prints for collectors.

Gordon.Wright11@btopenworld.com

19 May 1846
Death of Kirkpatrick MacMillan, blacksmith at Courthill in Dumfriesshire, inventor of the bicycle.

“Glasgow, June 11^th 1842, On Wednesday a gentleman, who stated he came from Thornhill in Dumfriesshire, was placed at the Gorbals public bar, charged with riding along the pavement on a velocipede to the obstruction of the passage, and with having, by so doing, thrown over a child. It appeared from his statement that he had on the day previous come all the way from Old Cumnock, a distance of forty miles, bestriding the velocipede, and that he performed the journey in the space of five hours.

Newspaper account of the first bicycle in Glasgow.

19 May 1995
Anthony Williams. Self-styled Laird of Tomintoul and deputy director of finance at the Metropolitan Police, England, was jailed for seven-and-a half years for stealing £5.3 million. He spent most of the money on buying and renovating properties in the Banffshire village of Tomintoul.

19 May 2005
The Scottish executive confirmed that the debt-ridden Argyll and Clyde Health Board was to be abolished. The Board’s responsibility would be assumed by NHS Greater Glasgow and NHS Highland and their massive debt of £80 million written off from public funds.

20 May 1297
Andrew de Moray raised his standard on Ormond Hill, Avoch, and commenced a successful campaign against English rule in the north of Scotland. He joined forces with Sir William Wallace and defeated English army at Stirling Bridge.

20 May 1810
“Parish Bank Friendly Society of Ruthwell” was founded by Rev. Henry Duncan – the beginning of Savings Banks.

22 May 1995
An SFA tribunal ordered the owner of Celtic, Fergus McCann, to pay Kilmarnock FC £200,000 for taking Tommy Burns and Billy Stark from Rugby Park to be his club’s management team.

23 May 1701
Captain William Kidd, Greenock-born privateer, was hanged at London’s Execution Dock for piracy.

Robert Bontine Cunninghame Graham 23 May 2005
Death of Roderick (Roddy) Wright, former Bishop of Argyll and the Isles, in New Zealand. He had resigned his charge in September 1996 following revelations of his affair with a divorced mother of three, Kathleen Macphee. They subsequently married and settled in New Zealand.

24 May 1852
Birth of Robert Bontine Cunninghame Graham, scholar, author and politician. He was the first President of both the Scottish Labour Party (1888) and Scottish National Party (1934).

See Dates in History in our Features Section

SCOTTISH QUOTATIONS

I like to have quotations ready for every occasions - they give one's ideas so pat and save one the trouble of finding expression adequate to one's feeling.

Robert Burns

We continue our new Feature in this section of the Flag - Scottish Quotations - statements in prose and verse which reflect all aspects of Scottish life and outlook from the 13^th century to the present day. New quotes added every week. The quotations are not restricted to native Scots but include observations from abroad which help us, in the words of our National Bard, Robert Burns, "To see oursels as others see us

Sir Walter Menzies Campbell

Drive less, fly less and buy less.

(The three things he does to safe-guard the planet’s resources)

Robert Fergusson (1750-1774)

For nought can cheer the heart so weel.
As can a canty Highland reel.

Hugh MacDiarmid (Christopher Murray Grieve) (1892-1978)

Our principal writers have nearly all been fortunate in escaping regular education.

(Observer 1953)

Patrick Jake O’Rourke

Sour, stingy, depressing beggars who parade around in schoolgirls’ skirts with nothing on underneath.

(On Scottish Characterists, “Foreigners Around the World”. National Lampoon 1976)

See Scottish Quotations in our Features Section

SING A SANG AT LEAST
(compiled by Peter D Wright)

"That I for poor auld Scotland's sake
Some useful plan or book could make
Or sing a sang at least ........"

- Robert Burns

DING DONG DOLLAR
Thurso Berwick. John Mack Smith, Jim McLean
(Tune: Ye canny shove yuir Granny aff a bus. )

USS Proteus

Chorus:
O, ye canny spend a dollar when ye're deid
O, ye canny spend a dollar when ye're deid
Singing Ding Dong Dollar, everybody hollar;
Ye canny spend a dollar when ye're deid.

Now when the Yankees they drappt anchor at Dunoon,
Sure they got a civic welcome frae the toon,
As they cam up the measured mile
Bonnie Mary o' Argyll
Wis wearin spangled drawers ablow her goon.

O, the Clyde is sure tae prosper noo they're here,
For they's chargin wan an tenpence for a beer,
Ay, an when they want a taxi,
They shove it up their jersey
An charge them thirty bob tae Sandbank Pier.

An the publicans will as be daein swell,
For it's juist the thing that's shair tae ring the bell,
O, the dollars they will jingle,
They'll be no a lassie single,
Even though they mebbe blaw us aa tae hell.

But the Glesga Moderator didnae mind,
In fact, he thinks the Yanks are awfy kind,
For if it's heaven that ye're going,
It's quicker wey than rowin
An there's shair tae be naebody left behind.

Footnote: The best-known and longest lasting of the anti-Polaris songs written in the 1960s. The song was inspired by the words of George MacLeod of the Iona Community – “You cannot spend a dollar when you are dead.” This was heard by Glaswegian songwriter John Mack Smith and gave him the basis of the chorus. Fellow songwriters Thurso Berwick (Morris Blythman) and Jim McLean collaborated with him and produced the song which became the anthem of the 1960s Scottish Anti-Polaris Movement.

See the SING A SANG AT LEAST in our features section

SCOTTISH FOOD, TRADITIONS AND CUSTOMS

Kinross Pipe Band

We start this week with what is really a footnote to last week’s item on the rise of Gretna FC over the past four years in the Scottish Football League. Last Saturday (13 May 2006) the Second Division Champions pushed the Premier League runners-up, Heart of Midlothian, all the way in the Scottish Cup Final. With the game tied at 1-1, after 120 minutes, the minnows only lost their first-ever Scottish cup Final 4-2 on penalties. The Cup, as was always the case on paper, went to Tynecastle for the seventh time but it was the tiny team from Reydale Park who won all the plaudits.

The long 2005/06 football season from July to May might be over but outdoor activity continues apace. This Saturday, 20 May 2006, sees the first major competition in the Pipeband world, as the Scottish Pipeband Championships take place at Levengrove Park, Dumbarton. All grades will be contested with a Drum Majors Competition thrown in for good measure. The 2006 British Pipeband Championsip will be held on 24 June in Pitlochry and the European Championship in Greenock on 29 July. The highlight of the pipeband year, the World Championship, will take place on 12 August 2006, on Glasgow Green, Glasgow. Countless other competitions will be held over the summer month, often in association with Highland Games such as Markinch Games on Sunday 4 June 2006 in the John Dixon Park (commences 12.30pm).

Another tradition in Scotland over the summer months is local and county agricultural shows such as the Fife Show this Saturday at Kinloss and Kilmaron, near Cupar (off A913) from 9-5pm. A traditional agricultural show, it features the Scottish Tractor Pulling Championship as well as the usual livestock classes, cookery demonstrations, show-jumping, vintage parade, children’s fun fair, and much , much more. Indeed the Fife Show organisers promise that 2006 will be the biggest and best ever and promise a great day out for all the family.

Whether it is a pipeband championship, Highland Games or agricultural show, a popular meeting place is the refreshment tent and a crack with friends, old and new, over a dram. Whisky is also the inspiration for this week’s recipe – Whisky Mac Cream – which is a very decadent, rich, smooth, creamy dessert.

Whisky Mac Cream

The warming tipple whisky mac is a combination of whisky and ginger wine. This recipe turns the drink into rich, smooth, creamy dessert - very decadent.

Ingredients: 4 egg yolks; 15ml/1 tbsp caster sugar, plus 50g/2oz; 600ml/1 pint double cream; 15ml/1 tbsp whisky; green ringer wine, to serve

Method: Whisk the egg yolks thoroughly with the first, smaller amount of sugar. whisk briskly until they are light and pale. Pour the cream into a pan with the whisky and the rest of the sugar. Bring to scalding point but do not boil, then pour onto the egg yolks, whisking continually. Return to the pan and, over a low heat, stir until the custard thickens slightly. Pour into individual ramekin dishes, cover each with cling film and leave overnight to set. To serve, pour just enough green ginger wine over the top of each ramekin to cover the cream.
Serves 4

See our Scottish Food, Traditions and Customs in our Features section

A KIST O FERLIES
A Keek at the Guid Scots Tung

By Peter & Marilyn Wright
(Note: All words underlined in this section are RealAudio links)

dreich: dull; monotonous; tardy; desolate; dreary
fremmit: alien; foreign; strange
lowsin tyme: end of day's work
nane: none
nou: now
skail: disperse; scatter; spill

The mither nivver haed a sang bit her dochter haed a verse o't : Like mother, like daughter

Still thou art blest compar'd wi' me!

The present only toucheth thee;

But Oh! I backward cast my e'e,

On prospects drear!

An' forward, tho' I canna see,

I guess an' fear!

frae ' To A Mouse ' - Robert Burns

COMPLETE POEMS

The Daft Days
Robert Fergusson

Click here to listen to this in Real Audio read by Marilyn Wright

Now mirk December's dowie face

Glours our the rigs wi' sour grimace,

While, thro' his minimum of space,

    The bleer-ey'd sun,

Wi' blinkin light and stealing pace,

    His race doth run.

From naked groves nae birdie sings;

To shepherd's pipe nae hillock rings;

The breeze nae od'rous flavour brings

    From Borean cave;

And dwyning Nature droops her wings,

    Wi' visage grave.

Mankind but scanty pleasure glean

Frae snawy hill or barren plain,

Whan Winter, 'midst his nipping train,

    Wi' frozen spear,

Sends drift owr a' his bleak domain,

    And guides the weir.

Auld Reikie! thou'rt the canty hole,

A bield for mony caldrife soul,

Wha snugly at thine ingle loll,

    Baith warm and couth;

While round they gar the bicker roll

    To weet their mouth.

When merry Yule-day comes, I trow,

You'll scantlins find a hungry mou;

Sma' are our cares, our stamacks fou

    O' gusty gear,

And kickshaws, strangers to our view,

    Sin fairn-year.

Ye browster wives, now busk ye bra,

And fling your sorrows far awa';

Then, come and gies the tither blaw

    Of reaming ale,

Mair precious than the well of Spa,

    Our hearts to heal.

Then , tho' at odds wi' a' the warl',

Amang oursells we'll never quarrel;

Tho' Discord gie a canker'd snarl

    To spoil our glee,

As lang's there's pith into the barrel

    We'll drink and 'gree.

Fidlers, your pins in temper fix,

And roset weel your fiddlesticks,

But banish vile Italian tricks

    From out your quorum,

Nor fortes wi' pianos mix,

    Gie's Tulloch Gorum.

For nought can cheer the heart sae weil

As can a canty Highland reel;

It even vivifies the heel

    To skip and dance:

Lifeless is he wha canna feel

    Its influence.

Let mirth abound, let social cheer

Invest the dawning of the year;

Let blithesome innocence appear

    To crown our joy;

Nor envy wi' sarcastic sneer,

    Our bliss destroy.

And thou, great god of Aqua Vitae!

Wha sways the empire of this city,

When fou we're sometimes caperoity,

    Be thou prepar'd

To hedge us frae that black banditti,

    The City-Guard.

See Scots Language in our Features Section
for other poems, stories, songs, sayings, jokes and words in the Scots language

SCOT WIT

Enjoy a Scottish Joke every week and listen to it as well

Road Sense

It is claimed that North-East drivers are notoriously bad - bringing down upon themselves the wrath of the more expert used to motorways, lane discipline and 'keepin ti yir ain side o the road.'

One old Buchan farmer heedlessly sticking to the middle of the road was constantly exhorted by his front-seat passenger to watch "yir side o the road."

Finally, tired of the warnings, the old farmer turned to his passenger and said "Wull ye shut up min - ye'll see the ither side o the road fin we're gaun hame."

Click here to listen to this joke

Read and listen to Jokes in our Scot Wit section