The Scots Independent Newspaper Online

Deep in the Brown Stuff

Last week, Gordon Brown delivered his tenth, and what he must have hoped would also be his final, budget before getting the chance to move his furniture next door. A further chance, then, for him to present himself as the Prime Minister in waiting. Sadly, as he concentrated his energies on the need to reassure the voters of middle England that he doesn’t have horns and a tail, it represented another opportunity missed for Scotland.

Surprisingly for a post-election Brown budget, this time he chose not to put the squeeze on taxpayers. Not withstanding his smash and grab earlier in the year on the North Sea, this budget will take in only £780m more while giving away just £380m – barely 0.07% of total revenues.

budget briefcase The Barnett formula means that this increase in English spending will give the Scottish Executive a small increase in its budget too. You might think that the Executive would be quite pleased by this. However, they are about to be reminded again that trying to govern Scotland is seldom plain sailing.

I’m not about to go soft on the Executive here. However, even I have some sympathy for ministers when the hellish legions of Labour MPs and the ultra-unionist press corps sally out, to lecture us on why everything we do in Scotland should be more like they do it in England. Nowhere is this more apparent than over the issues of education and health. For whenever spending in these areas increases in England, there is an automatic clamour to spend the resulting funding increase for Scotland on exactly the same kind of initiatives.

Foundation hospitals, city academies - you name it. Any policy originating in London enjoys instant validation in their minds. These policies don’t even need to fit coherently with what is already being done in Scotland, or what Scottish voters say they want. Whatever is happening in England is the acme of modernity, and the refusal of Scottish Ministers to follow suit just shows up the complacency and parochialism which has set in since devolution.

It seldom seems to work in the other direction, though. At the height of the stushie over the Scottish Parliament’s introduction of free personal care for the elderly, one New Labour pointy-head went so far as to say that ‘Devolution was about giving the Scots a say in their own affairs. It wasn’t to let them change government policy’. You get the feeling that even blessed with the navigation skills of Mark Thatcher, he couldn’t have missed the point of home rule more spectacularly.

For the benefit of any devo-sceptic Scottish journalists or Labour MPs who might be eading this, there are lots of reasons for Scotland to have different policies from England. Scotland has 1/3^rd of the UK landmass, for instance, and many island communities, yet has just under 1/10^th of the population. This geography and population distribution presents a number of unique challenges in the delivery of public services, which simply don’t apply south of the border.

Stoke Mandeville Partly because of this, there is a different structure to the economy. There are also different health problems. Thanks to the constitutional question, the politics are different too. From this, it should be self-evident that what works for England won’t always be right for Scotland. And even if it were, this argument still tries to deny the right of the Scottish Executive to follow a different path and to be held accountable for that at election time.

It is over health that Scottish politicians have taken the biggest battering recently, mainly for refusing to introduce foundation hospitals as they now have in England. These hospitals, which have the freedom to raise their own capital, have been credited with pushing patient waiting times far below those in Scotland.

You could be forgiven, in view of this coverage, for thinking that Scotland was a land of darkness and restrictive practices. However, at the beginning of March, the NHS in England parted company with its Chief Executive, following the news that these hospitals had pushed the service £2bn in the red for 2005/06. Suddenly, it became clear why the NHS in England might be outperforming its Scottish counterpart quite so comprehensively on waiting times.

And so, the recent rapid expansion in the English health service is about to see a reverse, as upwards of 4,000 workers are laid off in a frantic attempt to balance the books. It’s hardly a triumph for joined-up government. We can also, most likely, expect to see waiting times go up in the short term as English hospitals learn to live within their means.

So what does this mean for Scotland? Lest there be any misunderstanding, anyone who thinks this cash crisis in the English NHS is a reason for Scottish gloating is badly mistaken. However, what it does show is that English politicians and civil servants are fallible after all, and that they don’t have all the answers for England, let alone Scotland.

I’ve always felt that policies should be judged on their merits and not where the idea came from. With that thought and the parlous finances of the English NHS in mind, a post-budget silence from those who think every English policy change should be mirrored in Scotland, would be very welcome indeed.

Peer Pressure

Sadly, the growing ‘cash for gongs’ scandal at Westminster has added grist to the mill of pub bores who like to rant about ‘politicians’ being the source of all evil. I wish I could say that the guilty and the innocent are being separated in the minds of the public. However, I think the prevailing mood is that there should be a plague on all our houses.

Amidst this, the London parties have been falling over themselves to put state funding of political parties back on the agenda, mainly to get their own peerage related misdeeds off the front pages. But while the public are adamant that they don’t like parties taking big donations or loans, if there’s an idea they have even less time for, it’s that they as taxpayers should be funding the parties instead.

Westminster Of course, since the SNP doesn’t sit in the House of Lords, it can’t be accused of selling honours. It is also a party which survives solely through the generosity of its members and therefore has to live within its means. Proposals to cap large loans and election spending are therefore in the interests of the SNP, since it will help level the playing field by preventing the London parties from outspending us by quite so much at election time.

But attitudes to funding aren’t the only area where voters seem to want to have their cake and eat it. Over the time I’ve spent as a party volunteer, I've lost count of the number of earbashings I've taken from voters, some demanding to know why I was at their door when there wasn't an election on, with others closer to polling day choosing to berate me instead for only coming round because there was an election on.

I never took either complaint very seriously, but there are other times when you just can't win. We complain as voters about politicians hiding behind PR stunts and never meeting real people, yet no-one goes to public meetings when the parties try to hold them. We complain about the amount of letters and telecanvassing which the parties aim at voters, yet woe betide the party worker who knocks on a door through which no leaflets have been posted in advance!

And that is every voter's right. However, if voters expect party representatives to educate them about issues and to engage in vigorous debate, there needs to be a recognition that it can't happen without resources. I pay a monthly subscription to help the SNP, because I judge that this will do more to bring about the kind of Scotland I want than a similar payment to Setanta Sports ever will. But with activism and memberships in decline generally, it is hardly surprising that the bigger parties have been driven into the hands of the money men who, having paid the piper, will then also want to call the tune.

election count The other complaint is that all the parties are unrepresentative and out of touch. Yet parties will tend to reflect what their members (or focus groups) flag up as being of concern to the voters. Believe it or not, party members are normal people too. The difference is that they have realized that there’s no point complaining about not being represented and expecting others to sort things out for you. Democracy and consensus building might be tedious, but its still the least worst system of government we’ve devised to date.

So what might be the alternative? You could, as many pub bores advocate to me, outlaw all parties and only allow independents to stand. Yet the chances of getting known in your area, unless you have the help of like minded people, are extremely slim. And once we'd elected all these local heroes, how could we expect to be governed coherently, unless they were prepared to speak to each other and make deals to support one another on certain issues? And once they'd done all that, exactly what would then separate the resulting coalitions from the type of party systems which all democracies have evolved over the last few centuries?

The best deterrent to corruption and incompetence is vigilance and an engaged electorate, prepared either to get involved or to start their own campaigns to make sure that we have a proper debate about how to order our collective affairs. Refusing to take an interest, refusing to follow complex issues or deciding not to vote is simply the biggest cop-out of the lot.

All of us have a responsibility for the state of our country and politics. In the final analysis, political parties will always play the ball as they find it and to that extent, I’m tempted to conclude that all of us end up with the politicians and parties we deserve. I just wonder what I ever did to deserve Alastair Darling?

The Working Life of Linda Fabiani MSP

Click here to read SNP MSP Linda Fabiani's working diary.

SYNOPSIS

PEERAGE PROBLEMS DEEPEN FOR LABOUR

Speaking today (Sunday), after weekend press reports revealed more problems for Labour in the donations and peerages scandal, Angus MacNeil MP said that the latest revelations fully justified his actions in referring the matter to the police under the 1925 Honours Abuse Act.

According to weekend reports:

John Prescott backed a multi-million pound property development for two businessmen shortly after they had given secret loans to the Labour party
A Downing Street insider disclosed that Tony Blair knew four businessmen secretly loaned millions of pounds to Labour when he put them forward for peerages
Lord Levy has told friends he is not prepared to become the “fall guy”for Tony Blair in the loans for peerages scandal

Angus MacNeil Commenting Mr MacNeil said:

"The murky world of party financing in London is in the spotlight and the more pressure that is put to bear on it reveals yet more revelations.

“The latest press reports only justify my decision to refer this matter to the Metropolitan Police. Their professional and serious response has further strengthened that justification.

“Obviously the realisation that we are dealing with a criminal act under the law has concentrated minds as the newspaper revelations grow. Some of the revelations begin to make Neil Hamilton look like a boy scout.

“I would call on those journalists who have taken these investigations seriously to not let up and for insiders to come forward so that the police may know just what goes on behind the doors at Downing Street.

“To remove the cancer of corruption from Westminster politics will take the courage of good men to come forward as happened in the 1930’s. Are people of such character still with us in the UK of today?”

SAD DAY FOR SCOTTISH REGIMENTS

Pete Wishart Pete Wishart MP for Perth and North Perthshire today attended a service to mark the end of the Black Watch and Scottish Regiments in Perth. Commenting after the event, Mr Wishart paid tribute to the campaign to save the Scottish regiments.

Mr Wishart MP said:

"This is a sad day for all of us who fought so hard to save Scotland's historic regiments. The Black Watch and the other Scottish regiments took on their adversaries but were eventually overcome by incapable pen-pushers at Whitehall. This was a campaign that united veterans, serving soldiers and whole communities.

"This is a regrettable end for the Scottish regiments, and the future of the Royal Regiment of Scotland needs to be secured, with falling recruitment levels adding to the continuing overstretch.

"These regiments served us with such distinction for centuries and have been effectively abolished with a stroke of a pen. Although a poignant ceremony today marked the end of one of the best Regiments in the world, their bravery and service throughout the years will never be forgotten.

LABOUR MINDS CLOSED TO RENEWABLE OPTION

Speaking today following Labour Minister Alistair Darling's speech to the annual Scottish Renewables Forum conference in Glasgow, the SNP's Shadow Energy Minister Richard Lochhead MSP called on Labour to open their minds to Scotland's renewables potential.

Speaking this afternoon, Mr Lochhead said:

Richard Lochhead "Labour's mind is made up, they have already decided that they want to introduce a new generation of nuclear power stations in Scotland.

"But rather than building these costly, dangerous and unnecessary facilities here, we need to fully invest in our massive renewables potential.

"Scotland should be a world leader in developing renewable energy, which is cheap, clean and would guarantee security of supply. By turning their back on our renewable options Labour is denying Scotland the green future which would protect the environment, create jobs and secure our energy future."

Gordon & Carmen Wright

Second-hand, Fine & Rare Scottish Books.

Regular catalogues issued by email. To subscribe, email us at: Gordon.Wright11@btopenworld.com

Gordon Wright’s Scottish Photo Library

Spanning forty-five years and featuring a wide variety of illustrations in colour and black and white covering all aspects of Scottish life from Orkney to the Border country. Thousands of personality portraits.

Images for reproduction. Prints for collectors.

Gordon.Wright11@btopenworld.com

30 March 1296
Berwick, Scotland’s premier trading port, fell to the invading English army led by King Edward I of England, The town was put to the sword and remained in English hands for over 20 years.

31 March 1652
The Scottish Regalia, (crown, sceptre and sword), was saved from England’s Oliver Cromwell and hidden beneath the floorboards of Kinneff Parish Church, south of Stonehaven, by the minister Rev James Granger.

“I, Mr James Granger, minister at Kinneff, grant me to have in my custody the Honours of the Kingdom, viz. the croun, sceptre and sword. For the croun and sceptre I raised the pavement-stone just before the pulpit in the night tyme and digged under it ane hole and put them in there… The sword again at the west end of the church;… and if it shall please God to call me by death before they be called for, your Ladyship will find them in that place.”

Mr James Granger to the Countess Marischall at Dunnotar

31 March 1928
Scotland became the first of 17 countries to defeat England at Wembley in a historic 5-1 international football international victory. The under-rated Scottish side became known as the ‘Wembley Wizards’ and the line-up was :-

John Harkness (Queen’s Park), James Nelson (Cardiff City), Thomas Law (Chelsea), Jimmy Gibson (Aston Villa), Thomas Bradshaw (Bury), Jimmy McMullen (Manchester City, captain), Alex Jackson (Huddersfield), James Dunn (Hibernian), Hughie Gallacher (Newcastle), Alex James (Preston), Alan Morton (Rangers)

Scorers: Jackson 3, 6 & 86 mins; James 44 & 67 mins

31 March 2005
Angus Sinclair, 59, was charged with the murders of 17-year-olds Christine Eadie and Helen Scott in October 1977. The case was dubbed The World’s End Murders after the Edinburgh pub in which the girls were last seen. Their bodies were later found six miles apart at Gosforth bay and Haddington in East Lothian.

1 April 1295
Death of Robert Bruce, ‘The Great Competitor’, grandfather of Robert I, King of Scots.

1 April 1817
Blackwood’s Magazine started publication as Edinburgh Monthly Magazine as a Tory response to the Whig influenced Edinburgh Review. Produced by Edinburgh publisher William Blackwood it was re-launched as Blackwood’s Magazine in October 1817. It ceased publication in December 1980.

2 April 2005
Death of Polish-born Pope John Paul II, the first reigning Pope to visit Scotland (1982).

5 April 1603
James VI, King of Scots, left Edinburgh for his new kingdom of England. He only returned to Scotland once during his reign as King James I of England.

“This I must say for Scotland, and may truly vaunt it. Here I sit and governe with my Pen. I write and it is done, and by a Clearke of the Councell I governe Scotland now, which others could not do by the sword.’

King James to the English Parliament, 1607.

See Dates in History in our Features Section

SCOTTISH QUOTATIONS

I like to have quotations ready for every occasions - they give one's ideas so pat and save one the trouble of finding expression adequate to one's feeling.

Robert Burns

We continue our new Feature in this section of the Flag - Scottish Quotations - statements in prose and verse which reflect all aspects of Scottish life and outlook from the 13^th century to the present day. New quotes added every week. The quotations are not restricted to native Scots but include observations from abroad which help us, in the words of our National Bard, Robert Burns, "To see oursels as others see us!

Ian O Bayne

The sacrifices made by the men of 1820 set a Scottish Agenda which – 170 years on – we have yet to complete.

(Scottish labour History review 1990)

Bernard de Linton (? – 1331)

For so long as a hundred remain alive, we will never in any degree be subject to the domination of the English. Since it is not for glory, riches or honour that we fight but for liberty alone which no good man loses but with his life.

(Scottish Declaration of Independence, letter to Pope John XXII sealed by the barons of Scotland at Arbroath Abbey 6 April 1320)

John Richard Greene (1837-1883)

The instinct of the Scotch people has guarded it aright in choosing Wallace for its national hero. He was the first to sweep aside the technicalities of feudal law and to assert freedom as a national birthright. Amidst the despair of nobles and priests he called the people itself to arms, and his discovery of the military value of the stout peasant footman who had till then been scorned by baronage and knighthood gave a deathblow to the system of feudalism and changed, in the end, the face of Europe.

(A Short History of the English People)

Roy Williamson Roy Williamson (1937-1990)

O flower of Scotland, when will we see your like again,
That ought and died for, your wee bit hill and glen.
And stood against him, proud Edward’s army
And sent him homewards tae think again

Those days are past now, and in the past they must remain.
But we can still rise now and be the nation again
That stood against him, proud Edward’s army
And sent him homeward tae think again.

(Flower of Scotland)

See Scottish Quotations in our Features Section

SING A SANG AT LEAST
(compiled by Peter D Wright)

"That I for poor auld Scotland's sake
Some useful plan or book could make
Or sing a sang at least ........"

- Robert Burns

THE KELTY CLIPPIE
John Watt

Clippie (bus conductress)

I've traivelled thru' this country from shore to shining shore
From the swamps of Auchterderran tae the jungles o' Lochore
But in all these far-flung places there's nane that can compare
Wi' the lily of Lumphinnans, she's ma bonnie Maggie Blair

Chorus
She's just a Kelty clippie, she'll no tak' nae advice
It's, Ach drap deid or Ah'll bile yer heid or Ah'll punch yer ticket twice
Her faither's jist a waster, her mither's oan the game
She's just a Kelty clippie but I love her just the same

Frae the pyramids up in Kelty tae the mansions in Glencraig
We've trod the bings together in mony's the blyth stravaig
Watched the moonlight over Crosshill, trod Buckhaven's golden sand
And mony's the happy hoor we spent in Lochgelly's Happy Land

I remember on the 8.15 that night o' romantic bliss
I says, Ho Mag, nip yer fag, gie's a wee bit kiss
She didnae tak' this kindly, didnae like ma chaff
Being a contrary kind of bird she said, Come oan, get aff

She hasnae got nae culture, she drives me roon' the bend
Sittin' in her big armchair readin' the People's Friend
Her lapels are full of badges frae Butlins down at Ayr
And she goes to the bingo every night with the curlers in her hair

But things is a wee bit better noo, I've gone and got the ring
I won it frae Jim at the pitch an' toss, last night at the Lindsay Bing
Wi' her wee black hat and her ticket machine ma hairt she did ensnare
She's the lily of Lumphinnans, she's ma bonnie Maggie Blair

Footnote: Fife singer, songwriter and entertainer John Watt, The Muchty Megastar, is a totally unique character, best summed up by the guid Scots word kenspeckle. For half-a-century John has been a stalwart of the Scottish, and in particular the Fife, folk scene. In the early days of the Scottish Folk Revival he founded the Howff Folk Club in Dunfermline and his songs such as The Kelty Clippie and Pittenweem Jo has travelled world-wide. John is still a major figure at the Auchtermuchty Folk Festival and as he showed at the recent Milnathort Crackin’ Ceilidh Weekend, he is still to the fore in entertaining fashion. The Kelty Clippie was inspired by bus travel in the 1950s and although bus conductresses are now relegated to history, they live on in this amusing song!

See the SING A SANG AT LEAST in our features section

SCOTTISH FOOD, TRADITIONS AND CUSTOMS

Arbroath Abbey Pageant

In any other country, world-wide, Independence Day would be marked with a National Day of commemoration and celebration, but not in Scotland, as a submerged Nation in the Incorporating Union of 1707 with England. The Unionist dominated Scottish Executive in the Scottish Parliament, with less power than the Manx Tynwald, occasionally makes ‘nationalist’ sounds but when it comes to the bit will do nought to upset their ‘British’ masters! The date 6 April is a case in point. Now celebrated abroad as Tartan Day, here in Scotland a day which marks our National Freedom is paid little establishment attention. On 6 April 1320 the Scottish nobility attached their seals to a historic Declaration of Scottish Independence. The letter from Arbroath Abbey, written by Scottish Chancellor Bernard de Linton, to Pope John XXII, called on him to recognise Scottish freedom and marked the emergence of Scotland as the first nation State in Europe in the modern sense. In part the letter said

“Him (Robert I, King of Scots) also the Divine Providence and according to our laws and customs which we will maintain even to death, the succession of right and the due consent and assent of us all, have made our Prince and King; to whom as to him by whom deliverance has been wrought for our people, we for the defence of our liberty are bound both by right and by his deserts, and are determined in all things to adhere. But if he were to desist from what he has begun, wishing to subject us or our kingdom to the King of England or the English, we would immediately endeavour to expel him as our enemy and the subverter of his own rights and ours, and make another king who should be able to defend us. For so long as a hundred remain alive, we will never in any degree be subject to the dominion of the English. Since it is not for glory, riches or honour that we fight but for liberty alone which no good man loses but with his life.”

Several centuries later the sentiments of the Independence Declaration made at Arbroath were echoed in and inspired the American Declaration of Independence in 1776,

Arbroath Abbey, where the nobles gathered in support of the letter to the Pope, should be a National Shrine as the home of Scottish freedom. The ruined Abbey is now under the care of Historic Scotland and is among the many attractions included in The Historic Scotland Free Weekend (1 & 2April 2006) and hopefully many Scots will take the opportunity of a FREE visit to this historic spot. Visit www.historic-scotland.gov.uk/spring for full details of the FREE weekend which gives access to some 70 historic attractions (castles, abbeys and ancient monuments).

Arbroath Abbey Pageant Society are to be congratulated on marking the event every year, and as funds allow, presenting every few years a Pageant bringing alive the full panoply of 1320. On Thursday (6 April 2006) the Pageant Society stage a horseback procession up Arbroath’s historic High street and the world premier of ‘The Stane’ – the story of Scotland’s destiny – at the Arbroath Abbey forecourt (1,20pm).

Arbroath is in Angus and SNP-controlled Angus Council is to be congratulated in drawing attention to the area’s rich history and reminding our fellow Scots of same. Angus also gives us this week’s recipe – Angus Steak Pudding – a dish worthy of a National Celebration.

Angus Steak Pudding

Ingredients: ½ kg (1 lb) suet crust; ¾ kg (1 ½ lb) round steak; 2 tablespoons flour; 1 teaspoon salt; ¼ teaspoon black pepper; 20-0 g (8 oz) ox kidney; 2 tablespoons minced onion; beef stock or water as required.

Method: Line a greased pudding basin, about 20 cm (8 in) across. Thinly with rolled out suet crust. Trim edges with a sharp knife and make the trimmings into a lid to fit the top. Wipe steak with a damp cloth. Trim off any fat . Cut meat into thin slices, about 8 cm (3 in) square or 5-6 cm (2-2 ½ in) oblong. Beat lightly on a chopping board. Mix the flour with the salt and freshly ground pepper. Dip meat in flour. Cut ox kidney, skinned and cored, into tiny pieces, and place one and a niblet of fat on each piece of meat. Roll up. Pack into lined basin. Sprinkle with the onion, then add enough beef stock or water to come three-quarter way up the basin, Brush edge of pastry with cold water. Cover with pastry lid. Cover with a round of greased paper. Tie down securely. Cover with a pudding cloth. Steam for 3 ½ - 4 hours, If cooked in a saucepan of boiling water instead of in a steamer, keep replenishing with boiling water when necessary. Remove paper and cloth. Place basin on a platter. Pin a folded napkin neatly round. Serve with mashed potatoes and any green vegetable, 6 portions.

See our Scottish Food, Traditions and Customs in our Features section

A KIST O FERLIES
A Keek at the Guid Scots Tung

By Peter & Marilyn Wright
(Note: All words underlined in this section are RealAudio links)

coronach: dirge; lament
dicht: clean; wipe; wash superficially
peenge: whine; complain; whimper
ramstam: rush headlong; headstrong person; headstrong; rash
teuch: tough
wersh: ( of food and drink ) tasteless; insipid; unpalatable

We nivver dee'd o winter yit: We'll survive

We hae nae need tae pruive anew
the honour sung in Scotland's story,
we pit nae trust in treach'rous pelf,
nor dae we seek the fause vainglory,
but ilk ane here will aye bide free
tho we be left alane a hundert -
be shair, that life itsel we'll gie,
mang slaves, we never sall be numbert.

frae 'Scrieve fae Aberbrothock Aprile 1320' - James S Adam

COMPLETE POEMS

The Chiels o Auchteen-Twentie
by Peter D Wright

Raising The Banner On Cathkin Braes

Click here to listen to this in Real Audio read by Peter D Wright

Read at The 1820 Society Annual Commemoration Meeting, Sighthill Cemetery, Glasgow on Sunday 6 Septmber 1998 and subsequently published the November 1998 issue of the Scots Independent.

Baird, Hardie an Wilson war murdert

Fir the sake o the Radickal Cause;

'Scotland:Fre or a Desert' read their banner

As thai focht agin cruel fremmit Laws.

We gaither the day fir ti myn thaim

Near twa hunner yeir syne thai ar deid;

An ti tell the hale kintra o Scotland

That thai war the anes gied the lead.

Shouder ti shouder thegither, thai stud

Fir Scotland an the Richts o Man;

Thair names maun be myndit an honert

As thair veesions ane bi ane, hae bin wan.

We nou hae the Vote an the Fredomes

Fir whilk the Boys o Bonnymuir focht;

An the Scottish Paurliament is cumin

Whilk 'Purlie' Wilson o Straven lang socht.

Sae toast aw the chiels o Auchteen-Twentie

Thair names we suid aw weill myn;

Baird, Hardie an Wilson - The Mairtyrs

Wi leal Wallace an King Robert suid jyne.

Auchten-Twentie, Scotland an Fredome

Is a story weill wordie o fame;

A cairn i the noo Scottish Paurliament

Is hou we suid honor thair name.

See Scots Language in our Features Section
for other poems, stories, songs, sayings, jokes and words in the Scots language

SCOT WIT

Enjoy a Scottish Joke every week and listen to it as well

Life's Brief Candle

The day of the funeral had come and gone and the old widow was receiving a visit of condolence from some of her friends in the village who were reminding her that brief life was here our portion.

"Its juist the wey o the warld, Mistress McKay" said one of them putting in her word of comfort. "Here the day an gane the morn!"

"Ay!" was the matter-of-fact reply "juist like a bloomin circus!"

Click here to listen to this joke

Read and listen to Jokes in our Scot Wit section