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[ Issue 259 -  20th May 2005]

Jim Lynch
Compiled by Jim Lynch


Lots of great information to read and enjoy under our Features Section:
Scots Language | Scottish Food | Dates in History |
Scot Wit and lots more


 

ARGYLL & CLYDE

 

      Before very long it would seem that the Argyll & Clyde Health Board will be abolished, and its area split between Glasgow Health Board and Highland Health Board;  the reason is that it is running at a deficit and shows no signs of solving this problem.   It is two years since NHS Trusts were abolished, and the current Health Boards created, not a long time in the course of history, particularly considering the way in which the Health Service has been chopped and changed.

          According to the Argyll & Clyde five year plan, there will be a deficit of 7% in 2004-05,  5.6% in 2005/06, 3.5% in 2006/07 and 0.7% in 2007/08;  I know this is only 4 years, but 2003/04 showed £35.4 million, and I haven't found the base line for that year yet, probably because I was looking in the wrong place.  Anyway, the estimated figures show a  progressive betterment, but it would seem that it will not be fast enough or dramatic enough for the Scottish Executive, so drastic action will be taken.

         Now this is heresy, coming from a retired accountant like myself, used to controlling costs, or trying to, but I question the methodology of the Health Service when it comes to money.  Health is not a business which should make a profit - it is not a business at all - and while we cannot make the costs thereof open-ended, there has to be a degree of flexibility;  perhaps that is there already,  but this does not seem obvious.  One of the comments from the Scottish Executive was that Argyll & Clyde Health Board was unable to make significant inroads into the deficit in the first two years of the plan, and that a rise in staff numbers in the first year was causing concern!   I assume they mean doctors and nurses.

          A few questions are begged from that comment;  first the junior doctors hours of work, now reduced, so more doctors required;  second, hospital cleanliness, the victim of cost cutting leading to cheap contractors, cheap staff (not their fault) and a rise in hospital infections, the lack of nurses and their replacement by horrendously expensive agency nurses, and the sheer area to be covered by the Health Board.  It goes from Paisley and Greenock, to Oban, Campbeltown, Mull, Coll, Tiree, Colonsay, Jura and Islay - to name but a few.   So is the money going to improve the services, because in places of sparse population, more doctors and nurses are required;  is this not where all the arguments between the English and the Scottish health care and the cost per head of population arise?  The area of Argyll & Clyde covers 2880 square miles, five different Council areas, containing 419,000 patients;  translated into statistical nonsense, 145.5 patients per square mile!

                At present, four of Scotland's Health Boards are heading for deficits, so there is no certainty that splitting Argyll & Clyde will necessarily reduce costs in the overall scheme of things;  patients will persist in living where they want to live, and expect reasonable health care, and while there has been pressure from MSPs to scrap the Board, this has mainly come from Labour Members in the environs of Glasgow, with other hospitals nearby.  Argyll is represented by the Liberals, and in many ways "a remote country of which we know little."

 


WATCH THIS SPACE

 

         The Liberals have decided to have a contest for their Scottish leader, to fill the vacant space which the current leader, Jim Wallace, has been occupying for the last six years or so.

               The chief impression left with me of the tenure of the aforesaid is one of a grinning nonentity, who has been at the least, ineffectual, a weel known Liberal attribute.  However, one must remember that in the last Scottish Parliament, he was not only Deputy First Minister, but also Justice Minister.  His chief contribution in that role, apart from setting up Reliance to lose prisoners to the embarrassment of his successor, Cathy Jamieson, was to transfer some £50 million of the Prisons budget from eliminating slopping out in Scotland's gaols to the war on drugs.  The money disappeared without trace, and now prisoners are suing the Scottish Executive under the Human Rights legislation over having to slop out;  it is estimated that this will cost us, the taxpayers, some £500 million.  Just think, if Mr Wallace had not been so cavalier with our money we could have built another Parliament - and had change.

             Mr Wallace became Minister for Enterprise, I think, in the current Scottish Executive;  I say I think, since he has virtually disappeared from sight.   Probably the First Minister thought he would put him where he could do less damage, as a living symbol of the Scottish Executive's "Do less - better";  we await the second part of the mantra being achieved.   Perhaps Mr Wallace's decision to stand down now is to let him go out with a high profile a la Sidney Carton quotation "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done."

           So far the contest is between Nicol Stephen, Transport Minister, and Mike Rumbles, a less than humble backbencher;  the first seems to spend a lot of his time smiling and looking youthful, which will appeal to Liberal Party members, while Rumbles rumbles them up the wrong way.  The Transport Minister has the skills of duplicity, having instituted a public inquiry into the M74 extension through Glasgow and at the same time spending £40 million buying up the land for the extension;  he was not in the least put out when this was made public.  The public inquiry came out against the extension, and cost a mere trifling three quarters of a million;  the point is that the M74 extension is an affront to the Liberals green pretensions.


THE UNATTRIBUTED SENIORS

 

         It is currently SNP policy that after we have become the Scottish Executive we will hold an Independence Referendum in the first Parliament;  this is not a course which endears itself to many older Nationalists,  who have long maintained that a vote for the SNP is in itself a vote for Independence, but it is the current policy, democratically arrived at.

            Now that the Labour Duplicates (aka the Liberals) are about to appoint a new leader the issue of the Independence Referendum has leapt into the headlights;  their current leader, whatsisname, specifically ruled out any coalition with the SNP, before the last Scottish elections, thereby conceding that he wanted to have a coalition with Labour before a ball was kicked.  The two Liberal contenders are both now carrying out the same exercise, stating that they would not enter a coalition with the SNP, unless the latter removed the Referendum clause;  now we read about "Senior Nationalists"saying that the Referendum is negotiable.  Now who are these shy retiring people who do not wish their comments attributed?  Are they hoary old Nationalists like myself, senior in age certainly, looking to reassert the SNP vote as an Independence vote per se, or are they current high heid yins of a more youthful vintage, vying for column inches in the press?   Any such sea change would need a Conference debate and vote, so I look with eagerness to the September Conference, to listen to all the arguments.

         There is no doubt that the current voting system for the Scottish Parliament, which is hated by the Labour Party, makes it extremely difficult for any party to get an absolute majority in the Parliament;  it is supremely ironic that the architect of that scheme, which was designed to stop the SNP, was the General Secretary of the Scottish Labour Party at that time - Jack McConnell.   By the time the next Scottish election comes along, the new voting system, Single Transferable Voting, will be in place for the Local Government Elections;  what price some sort of similar system for the Scottish Parliament Election, which takes place on the same day?  As it is we have three different voting systems at present in Scotland;  for the European Elections we have straightforward proportional representation for all of Scotland, with seats going to each party on their share of the vote.  For Westminster and Local Government, we have first past the post, which means that the candidate with the most votes wins, and in the Scottish Parliament Elections, we have first past the post for each parliamentary constituency, which is 72 seats, and a further 57 seats allocated by the proportional share of the votes in each area.   This goes some way to address balance.

           Now that the Labour Party has been dragged kicking and screaming into agreeing proportional representation in local government, it might make sense to change the Additional Member System currently used for the Scottish Parliament and use STV for both elections;  the Greens and the SSP might resent that, but then that would mean that they would have to work their way through the system as the SNP has had to do.

         I do not believe that we would have to make any concessions to the Labour Duplicates if the system remains unchanged;  they are hungry to get their hands on some power, and their sacrifice of principles is standard policy.  However, I also think that in this new ball game, the SNP may have to rethink their attitude to the Tories; it is long held party policy that we would not prop up a Tory government, but consensus politics is now here.   We may be afraid of losing support by considering a coalition with the Tories, but at least they are unashamedly mean and evil, and brutally, the Labour Party has out Toried the Tories, but still masquerades as the party of the working classes.  They did not worry in Perth Council when they formed a coalition with the Liberals and Tories to keep the SNP, the largest party, out of office;  this eventually fell, after more than a year of bickering.  At least you know the Tories are straightforward crooks. 

 

FOOT IN THE MOUTH NOTES

 

            It has become increasingly popular for politicians to appear wearing suits but not ties, casual men of the people (haven't noticed any women doing this).

                 I think I should join them, rather than keep buying shirts with a collar size sixteen, instead of the fifteen and a half I have worn all my adult life.

 


              
  The recent decision by the Scottish Executive to reduce inspection visits to care homes has caused a much justified uproar;  in a letter defending the decision, and refuting the claims, the deputy minister for health wrote: "This will ensure that good-quality care providers are freed up from form filling, and allowed to focus on delivering services............"

                Who wanted the forms filled in in the first place?

 

 

              The Scottish Executive has given a hostage to fortune by launching a new poster "Welcome to the best small country in the world" - the "small" is in much lower case.

               We could be the best country in the world, but after 6 years of the Scottish Executive, we still have 30% of our children in poverty, and the highest prison population in Europe.   Way to go.

 


Lady Godiva      
    Lynda Clark was the Labour MP for Edinburgh Pentlands, and stood down to allow Alastair Darling to contest the new seat of Edinburgh South West;  Ms Clark was also the Advocate General for Scotland, a less than onerous post for which she was paid £120,971 per annum.

              Ms Clark has now been elevated (?) to the House of Lords, and re-appointed Advocate General for Scotland;  in addition to her House of Lords attendance money, she will be paid £98,899 as a Cabinet Minister.  Clever.

 

  
       
    Watching BBC's Question Time, my wife and I sympathised with the Englishman who said that more English people had voted Tory than Labour, but they now had a Labour Government.

           Having suffered 18 years of Scotland voting Labour and being ruled by the Tories, his plight would have brought tears to many a Scottish glass eye.

 Cinderella


      The Liberals were very pleased at taking a seat from Labour and for electing the youngest MP,  Jo Swinson aged 25.   She is the only female Scottish Liberal MP, and there is only one female Liberal Member of the Scottish Parliament.

             Perhaps the Liberals do not like women?

 

 
 

The Working Life of Linda Fabiani MSP

Linda Fabiani MSP
Click here to read SNP MSP Linda Fabiani's working diary.


 SYNOPSIS

 

             The General Election is now officially over, so it is back to business as usual, whatever that may now mean.

Friday 13th May
Commenting on the announcement that former Scottish Labour MPs have been
elevated to the House of Lords, SNP Westminster Whip, Pete Wishart MP said:

Pete Wishart"These Labour has-beens are no more that Tony's tartan cronies. It is a case of Lady Lazy, Lord Loyal and the Duke of do nothing. They have served their time and not rocked the boat, so Tony Blair is giving them a retirement reward.

"They have done the Prime Minister's bidding in the Commons - voting against the Scottish interest on many occasions. We can expect the same subservience when they reach the upper house. 

"Tugging the forelock to Tony Blair is their main qualification - they certainly didn't put Scotland first.

"Baroness Adams had the distinction of being one of the worst performing MPs from Scotland - coming towards the bottom of the league table of parliamentary contributions. Her move from Paisley to a peerage is a prime example of loyalty before performance."

Note - Irene Adams had one of the poorest performance records in the Commons in the last session.
 


 Monday 16th May

 SNP MSP for Glasgow, Sandra White, today called on the Executive to carry out an urgent review of its staffing levels after it emerged that overtime payments to ministerial staff soared by 94 per cent in the last six years.

Sandra WhiteThe figure was revealed in a written answer from Finance Minister Tom McCabe, which showed that overtime payments increased from £191,000 in 1999-2000 to a total of £370,000 split between only 67 staff in 2003-04, the equivalent of £5522 each.

Commenting, Ms White said:   "This staggering increase in overtime payments raises a series of unanswered questions that the Executive must now address.

"Who has received these overtime payments, and how much have they been paid? Why are they necessary and is this really the most efficient use of Executive funds?

"Staff should, of course, be paid for any overtime they work, but such a massive increase in overtime payments points towards serious staffing problems within the Executive.

"It is clear that we now need an urgent review of staff and staffing costs within the Executive to ensure a fair deal for staff and value for money for the people of Scotland.

"Scots have a right to expect value for money from government which, to date, this Labour-led Executive has failed to deliver."
 


 Thursday 12th May

 SNP Leader, Alex Salmond MP, has set out the Scottish National Party's priorities for the forthcoming parliamentary session. These will include: 

1. A new motion to impeach the Prime Minister.
2. A Bill to give the House of Commons the final say over any expenditure on a new nuclear missile for the Clyde.
3. A focus on Scotland's population crisis and measures to provide more opportunities at home for young Scots.
4. Renewed opposition to means testing for a decent pension and the promotion of a fairer citizen's pension.
5. A national campaign against new nuclear dumps and any Labour plans for a new nuclear power station.
6. Promotion of Scotland's offshore renewable energy potential.
7. The creation of a Scottish Oil Fund and the transfer of control over Scotland's oil to the Scottish Parliament.
8. Continuing the campaign to save Scotland's regiments.
9. A Bill to bring home control of Scotland's fisheries.

Alex SalmondCommenting on the key issues in the SNP's 'alternative Queen's Speech', Mr Salmond said: 

"The SNP is determined not to let Tony Blair or the Labour government off the hook.

"We will be laying before the Commons a cross-party motion to impeach Tony Blair, so that together we can hasten the departure of this discredited Prime Minister. Trust in Tony Blair is at rock bottom and the SNP MPs will be putting a voice to the anger felt across Scotland. We will make sure the Prime Minister is fully held to account for his actions in Iraq. 


"We will be highlighting the contrast between the billions Labour wants to waste on a second generation Trident nuclear weapon for the Clyde - a weapon that is useless in the struggle against global terrorism - and the penny-pinching cuts which mean no future for the best infantry regiments in the world.

"The SNP group will introduce a cross-party Bill giving the Commons the final say over expenditure on any new nuclear missile. If the choice is between dedicated Scottish soldiers who can play a role in peace keeping and the war against terror and the posturing of a new nuclear deterrent, our decision is clear. We will back Scotland's soldiers over British weapons of mass destruction any day."
 


Tuesday 17th May

 The new SNP MP for Na h-Eileanan an Iar, Angus MacNeil, has put down his first Early Day Motion calling on the BBC to rethink its new weather map. The map gives a distorted view of Scotland and makes it more difficult for people in the north and Islands to get an accurate weather forecast. 

Angus MacNeilThe text of the EDM is as follows:  This House notes that the changes the BBC has made recently to weather forecast bulletins distorts Scotland, Northern Ireland and the north of England on the map and reduces the information available to many viewers, especially across the north of Scotland; 

recognises that this is particularly unwelcome in Na h-Eileanan an Iar where the variability of the weather can affect many crucial activities tied to people's livelihoods, including crofting and fishing, and information and forecast are particularly important for a range of outdoor pursuits;

further notes that the Hebrides used to have two weather icons covering the 180 mile length now there is one icon which will neither indicate the weather in the north or the south of the Hebrides effectively; 

also notes that England has a landmass which is less than twice Scotland's area yet the recent changes give England a presence on the TV screen which is ten times that of Scotland; 

and calls on honourable members to make representations to the BBC to think again and give the north and Islands of Scotland their due prominence on screen.

Commenting Mr MacNeil said:   "The BBC better beware, because there is a gathering storm over their new,   distorted weather map.

 

"People in my constituency depend on reliable weather forecasting for a range of crucial outdoor activities - including fishing and crofting - but this new map leaves them with almost zero visibility for weather in the Isles.

"There would be outcry in London if the map was angled from the north, because it would have Lewis as big as London and Barra as big as the south-west. We are well used to changeable weather, but this map is a change too far. The BBC needs to rethink their daft, distorted map. They need to see Scotland as it is."
 


Wednesday May 18

 SNP MSP Linda Fabiani, Deputy Convener of the Scottish Parliament's cross-party group on refugees, has today (Wednesday) condemned the "disgraceful" provision of care for children at the Dungavel House Immigration Removal Centre in Lanarkshire.

Linda FabianiHer comments came after the Chief Inspector of Prisons, Anne Owers, warned in a report following an unannounced visit that the centre's protection of children was "seriously deficient" and that she was "extremely concerned about the welfare of children in all the immigration removal centres inspected".

The report also states that the children's development is at greater risk than ever as the institute had failed to implement recommendations made during a visit two years previously.

Ms Fabiani said:

"This report is a damning indictment of the centre and the Executive's policy on the handling of asylum seekers.

"It is disgraceful that the protection of children has been deemed deficient.

"These children are in Scotland and so the Scottish Executive should have responsibility in conjunction with Lanarkshire Council.

"The Executive must now tell the Home Office that it is not acceptable that these children are being failed on Scottish soil and demand action now.

"This Executive has a duty of care to these children, a duty in which it is clearly failing."   

 


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DATES IN HISTORY

20 May 1994
Cluny Parish Church in Edinburgh was packed and 2,000 people stood in the streets outside for the funeral service of Labour leader John Smith.  He was buried on Iona. 

John Aitkenhead21 May 1910
Birth of educational pioneer John Aitkenhead at Knightswood, Glasgow.  Founder and headmaster of Kilquhanity House School, Dumfriesshire.

 

 

21 May 2003
Celtic suffered a dramatic 3-2 extra-time defeat against Porto in the UEFA Cup Final in Seville.  A crowd of 52,972 saw Henrik Larsson twice bring the Scottish team back on level terms but the 102nd minute sending-off of Bobo Balde for a second caution was followed by a 115th minute killer strike for the Portuguese by Derlei.

23 May 1842
General Assembly of the Church of Scotland condemned patronage as a grievance to the cause of true religion that ought to be abolished.

26 May 1424
Gold and silver mines in Scotland became Crown property under Acts passed by a Parliament held in Perth - the first presided over by James I, King of Scots, following his release from English captivity.

"Gif ony myne of golde or silver be fundyn in ony lordis landis of the realm and it may be provyt that thre halfpennys of silver may be fynit owt of the punde of leide the Lordis of Parliament consentis that sik myne be the kingis as is usuale in uthir realmys."

Acts of Parliament James I

See Dates in History in our Features Section
 


SCOTTISH FOOD, TRADITIONS AND CUSTOMS

This Saturday, 21 May 2005, sees the annual presentation of the Oliver Brown Award by The Scots Independent.  The outstanding Scot this year is W Kenneth Fee, writer and editor. The first joint winners of the award,  Sir Alastair M Dunnett and James ( Seumas ) Adam, The Canoe Boys, were the inspiration for this column and in their honour we repeat the very first recipe and biography of two byous Scots.

OATMEAL BROSE

The inspiration for this new column came from the historic canoe journey made by Oliver Brown Award winners, Sir Alastair M Dunnett and James ( Seumas ) Adam, from Bowling on the Clyde to Skye in 1934. The expedition led to them being known as The Canoe Boys and the foodstuff which provided the back-bone of their diet, a foodstuff which had sustained Scots for centuries, was oatmeal. They preferred to have it, at least twice a day, in the form of oatmeal brose rather than as porridge. An account of how they made their brose was provided by Sir Alastair M Dunnett in 'Quest By Canoe', the story of their adventure published in 1950 and reprinted in 1995.

 

Oatmeal brose was the true foundation of the expedition, and the correct method of making it must be put on record. A quantity of coarse oatmeal - with salt 'to taste' as they say - is placed in a bowl and boiling water poured over it. The water must be boiling hard as it pours and there should be enough of it to just cover the oatmeal. A plate is immediately placed over the bowl like a lid. You now sit by for a few minutes, gloating. This is your brose cooking in its own steam. During this pause, slip a nut of butter under the plate and into the brose. In four or five minutes whip off the lid, stir the mass violently together, splash in some milk and eat. You will never again be happy with the wersh and fushionless silky slop which passes for porridge. This was the food whose devotees staggered the legions of Rome; broke the Norsemen; held the Border for five hundred years; and are standing fast on borders till. It is a dish for men. It also happens to taste superbly. We ate it twice a day, frequently without milk, although such a simplification demands what an Ayrshire farmer once described to me as a 'guid-gaun stomach'. He is a happy traveller who has with him a bag of oatmeal and a poke of salt. He will travel fast and far.'

James S Adam and Sir Alastair M DunnettThe first joint Oliver Brown Award was presented to the distinguished journalists and authors James S Adam and Sir Alastair M Dunnett on 28 June 1997 in the Terraces Hotel, Stirling. Speakers included SNP President Dr Winifred M Ewing MEP and Michael F Russell, SNP Chief Executive, who proposed the Toast to the Scots Independent.

Sadly Sir Alastair M Dunnett died on 2 September 1998 and his lifelong friend James S Adam on 16 April 2003.

The following article by Douglas Moonie looked at the careers of the joint Award winners and revealed why they were knows as 'The Canoe Boys', appeared in the May 1997 issue of the Scots Independent.

THE CANOE BOYS - James S Adam and Sir Alastair M Dunnett - by Douglas Moonie.

In late 1933 two young Scots gave up their "safe" jobs, in banking and newspaper advertising, to launch a weekly magazine for Scottish boys, with the title "Claymore", which emphasised the physical and intellectual adventure ready to hand in Scotland. With the aid of three compatriots, Alastair M Dunnet and James (Seumas) S Adam, not only wrote but lived the adventures which appeared in the pages of "Claymore".

After initial success the magazine ran into sales difficulties in the summer of 1934 as Scottish boys preferred real outdoors adventure to merely reading them second-hand! The aim of the magazine to encourage Scottish youth to discover the outdoor attractions of Scotland, proved to be its downfall as the falling sales resulted in a drain not only on the founder’s pockets but on their health. They eventually had to take the advice of their friendly printer and cease publication. Cash flow was just as big a problem in the 1930s as it is to-day.

Although "Claymore" ceased publication, many of its stories later appeared in book form, such as Alastair M Dunnett’s ‘Treasure at Sonnach’ (1935), and after building up their physical strength the two founders set out on an adventure worthy of the columns of "Claymore". In single-seater "Lochaber" canoes the kilted duo set off from Bowling on the Clyde to canoe to Stornoway. Along their route they were told that it was "too late in the year" for their venture. Nevertheless they paddled on, writing dispatches for the "Daily Record" to cover costs, and reached Skye before having to call a halt. The appellation "The Canoe Boys" had been well and truly born and after more than 60 years is still the talk of the West Coast of Scotland. As James S Adam recalls in his recently printed "Over The Minch", he overheard a conversation in Tobermoray in 1996, "And one of the ‘Canoe Boys’ is on Calve". Seamas Adam was that ‘Boy’. I will review ‘Over The Minch’ in the June SI.

Alastair M Dunnett was to immortalise their sea adventure in 1950 when "Quest by Canoe" was published, subsequently to be reprinted under the title "Too Late in the Year", and in 1995 reprinted again under the Neil Wilson Publishing imprint as "The Canoe Boys —from the Clyde past The Cuillins". I was privileged to be at the book’s launch when both "Canoe Boys" were in fine fettle as undoubtably they will be in the Terraces, Stirling, on the afternoon of 28th June.

Seumas Adam was to complete their original aim of canoeing to Stornoway when a year later he made the first solo canoe trip across The Minch. Waiting to greet him at Stornoway was the other half of "The Canoe Boys" — Alastair M Dunnett.

"The Canoe Boys" by-name had been well and truly launched and friendship first founded through their participation in a Scout pantomine has been maintained throughout their varied careers and the friends still meet on a weekly basis.

After the canoe venture, Sir Alastair went on to work on various Scottish newspapers before becoming Chief Press Officer at the Scottish Office during the War years. He worked for Tom Johnston, the best-ever Secretary of State for Scotland, a man whom both "Canoe Boys" hold, rightly, in high esteem. After the Hitler War, Sir Alastair became Editor of the Daily Record in 1946 — a vastly different paper from to-day’s tabloid — and in 1956 he moved to become the finest Editor of the Scotsman in modern times. With the discovery of oil in Scottish waters he served as Chairman of Thomson Scottish Petroleum Ltd from 1971 to 1979. He has also been a Director of Scottish Television, Governor of the Pitlochry Festival Theatre, Member of the Press Council, served on the Scottjsh Tourist Board, been a Council Member of the National Trust for Scotland, the Scottish International Education Trust, and on the committees of Scottish Theater Ballet and Scottish Opera. An author and playwright, his entertaining and informative autobiography "Among Friends" was published in 1984. Sir Alastair is married to the author and portrait painter Dorothy Dunnett.

James S Adam also returned to newspaper work before War Time service working directly to the War Office as a Staff Captain. On demob, Seumas Adam became successively Features Editor of the Glasgow Evening News, then of the Daily Record, before taking on the post of Assistant Editor of the Evening Times. He moved to Edinburgh on his appointment as Editor of the Weekly Scotsman, a paper which had a wide readership of Scots the world over — an apt task for a man with a vast knowledge of all aspects of Scottish life. He moved into newspaper management as General Manager of the Scotsman Publications. This was followed by a period in exile as Managing Director of the Chester Chronicle Newspapers and subsequently as Managing Director of the Middlesborough Evening Gazette.

Returning to Scotland in 1975, he was invited to organise the first-ever International Gathering of the Clans which took place in 1977. He followed this success by helping to bring Scots from the ends of the earth to the first-ever International Gathering of the Clans in Nova Scotia. Through his participation in the Scottish International Gathering Trust, Seumas Adam has developed world-wide friendships. He is, appropriately, a Past President of the Scottish Canoe Association, the Scottish Federation of Sea Anglers, past member of the Scottish Council of Physical Recreation and of the Cairngorm Winter Sports Development Board.

James S Adam and Sir Alastair M DunnettA Dundonian, with a Aberdeen, Buchan and Highland background, he imbued Scots as his Mither Tongue, but has found time in a hectic life to become fluent in Gaelic, to the extent that his prose and poems have appeared in "Gairm". His fine poetry in Scots has found many outlets including ‘Lallans’, ‘‘Scots Magazine" and the "Scots Independent". Recent publications such as "New Verses for an Auld Sang", "Gaelic Wordbook" and "The Declaration of Arbroath" have proved to be very popular — "The DecIaration" alone having been purchased by over 1000 Scottish schools, bringing a new generation of Scots the inspiring words of 1320.

Both."Canoe Boys" have contributed much to Scottish life and letters. Their lives have been inspired by a love of Scotland, her hills and glens, her culture, history and languages.

James S Adam and Sir Alastair Dunnett, ‘The Canoe Boys’, are worthy, first-ever, joint winners of the Oliver Brown Award.

See our Scottish Food, Traditions and Customs in our Features section

 

SING A SANG AT LEAST
(compiled by Peter D Wright)

"That I for poor auld Scotland's sake
Some useful plan or book could make
Or sing a sang at least ........"

- Robert Burns

ARTHUR MCBRIDE
Traditional

18th century soldier

I had a first cousin called Arthur McBride
He and I took a stroll down by the seaside;
Seeking good fortune and what might betide
It was just as the day was a'dawnin'
After restin' we both took a tramp
We met Sergeant Harper and Corporal Cramp
Besides the wee drummer who beat up the camp
With his row-dee-dow-dow in the morning

He says my young fellows if you will enlist
A guinea you quickly will have in your fist
Besides a crown for to kick up the dust
And drink the King's health in the morning
And we have no desire to take your advance
All hazards and danger we barter on chance
and you'd have no scruples to send us to France
Where we would be shot without warning

And now says the sergeant, if I hear but one word
I'll instantly now will out with my sword
And into your bodies as strength will afford
So now my gay devils take warning
But Arthur and I we took the odds
We gave them no chance to launch out their swords
Whacking shillelaghs came over their heads
And paid them right smart in the morning
As for the wee drummer, we rifled his pow
And made a football of his row-do-dow-dow
Into the ocean to rock and to roll
And bade it a tedious returnin'
As for the old rapier that hung by his side
We flung it as far as we could in the tide
To the Devil I pitch you, says Arthur McBride
To temper your steel in the morning
 

Footnote:  The best of the Irish anti-recruiting but versions have been collected in Scotland, England and America.  The song was collected around 1840 in  Limerick by P.W. Joyce. He believed it to originally come from Donegal, based on the phraseology of the song. It's an anti-recruiting song similar in theme to The Kerry Recruit, Mrs. McGrath and Johnny I Hardly Knew Ya..; and there are many more. Along with "The Landlord" and "The Excise Man",  the "Recruiting Sergeant" was a popular target for poetic ire, because he conscripted young Irishmen to fight on behalf of England.  

In the mid-eighteenth century, if an English soldier took off his uniform, the minimum penalty was twenty-five lashes with a cat-o-nine-tails, and 1500 lashes the maximum. Average pay was eightpence a day.

 

See the SING A SANG AT LEAST in our features section

A KIST O FERLIES
A Keek at the Guid Scots Tung

Peter & Marilyn Wright
By Peter & Marilyn Wright 
(Note:
All words underlined in this section are RealAudio links)

 

acquant: acquaint
contrair: contrary ; diametrically opposed
hurl: to bowl along ; to wheel ; a vehicle ride
hurl-barra: a wheelbarrow
saum: a psalm
 
It taks a lang spune ti sup wi a Fifer: If you associate with a Fifer be on your guard, they are a smart bunch.
 

 
The loch whar first the stream doth rise
Is bonniest to my e'e;
And yon auld warld hame o' youth
Is dearest aye to me.

My heart wi' joy may up be heized,
Or doon wi' sorrow worn,
But, Oh, it never can forget
The toon where I was born.

- Robert Nicoll, 19th century Dundee poet


COMPLETE POEMS

Crocodile
 by J K Annand
Read by
Peter D Wright

Click here to listen to this in RealAudio

When doukin in the River Nile
I met a muckle crocodile.
He flicked his tail, he blinked his ee,
Syne bared his ugsome teeth at me.

Says I, "I never saw the like.
Cleaning your teeth maun be a fyke !
What sort of besom do ye hae
To brush a set o teeth like thae?"
 

The crocodile said, "Nane ava.
I never brush my teeth at aa !
A wee bird redds them up, ye see,
And saves me monie a dentist's fee."

See Scots Language in our Features Section
for other poems, stories, songs, sayings, jokes and words in the Scots language

SCOT WIT


Enjoy a Scottish Joke every week and listen to it as well

Looking Well

The two men in the Glasgow pub had been shattered by the sudden death of a friend and workmate. The more they drank to his memory, the more maudlin they became, and one of them suggested calling on the widow. By then, they had had a drink too many but off they went to the house. The widow was a little surprised by their visit but asked them inside where they both became tongue tied. To ease the strain the widow asked "Wad ye like fir ti see him?"
 
It was the last thing they wanted but they didn't know how to refuse, and found themselves ben the house looking at their old friend lying on the bed in a coffin. Searching for something to say, one of them burst out with "My isna he awfie sunburnt!"
 
    "Ay" agreed the widow "That last wee holiday he haed at Rothesay did him the pouer o Guid."  

Click here to listen to this joke

THE MONTHLY PRIZE CROSSWORD

[See our crosswords here!]

AND AS WE CONTINUE...

If you read our first issue of The Flag in the Wind you will know that this is a weekly Internet commentary on the Scottish political scene; if you desire further erudition click on Archives.

SOME OF OUR FEATURE SECTIONS....

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The Rebels Ceilidh Songbook
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Sing A Sang At Least
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Scottish Food, Traditions and Customs
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The Oliver Brown Award
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THE FLAG IN THE WIND

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