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Compiled by Jim Lynch
[Issue 115 -  16th August 2002]

The first item was in "Inside England Today", which was something I first pinched in 1967; the piece said that John Boyd Dunlop of Dreghorn, Ayrshire, had invented the pneumatic tyre. I received a correction from Chris Engel of Stonehaven, which I have verified, and the pneumatic tyre was invented by Robert William Thomson of Stonehaven on 10th December 1845, although Dunlop seems to have been unaware of this at the time. The point is, of course, that the pneumatic tyre was invented by a Scot.

The other correction is in the Foot in the Mouth Notes last week, where we commented that Dixons were selling a video recorder for £89 in London and 89 euros in Dublin; according to this week’s Observer, the original report, compiled by Shoppers in Europe, got it wrong, and the video recorder sells for £79.99 in the UK and is not available in Ireland. The error was caused by confusion between sterling and euro prices, which was what was alleged in the first place.

Tut, tut, at this rate we’ll have as many corrections to make as the Scotsman newspaper......well..... ?

Short letters, of course, are read before you realise it, and two examples recently have captured my attention; writing in the Dundee Courier about General Monck’s Treasure being searched for in the River Tay,

" Sir,
It’s Scotland’s gold."
Andrew J T Kerr, 52 Castlegate, Jedburgh.

And it is.

Writing in the Herald, this week,

"Being Scottish is an affair of the heart"
William Wolfe, 17 Limekilnburn Road, Quarter, Hamilton.

And it is too.

MEN OF LUCRE

The response in the press was from Peter Murrell, SNP chief executive, who made the point that the SNP was funded mainly by its members, with 79% of the money coming from them. Labour themselves are in serious financial trouble, despite dishing out peerages and contracts to their donors, all thoroughly deserved and no partiality at all; so much so that after taking £100,000 from a porn king, they waved through his takeover of a national newspaper, and have now been forced to set up a committee to vet all donations. The committee consists of Labour appointees, and is chaired by Lord Levy, chief fund-raiser for the Labour Party; they see no irony in this. Maybe they picked him because they liked the name.

Donations to them fell from £3.4 million in the first quarter to just £591,000 in the second quarter, and they have imposed a levy on MPs of £1200 a year to help pay their way; MPs are less than happy with this imposition, and MPs wives and partners are even less amused, but MPs can fiddle their expenses to make up for it (state funding?). The figures are of course for the UK, and maybe somewhere there is a figure for New Labour in Scotland; Labour’s general secretary went cap in hand to the unions, and he has admitted that membership is down by 30% over all. He is confident that other options will help the deficit, and tells us that the wine club is booming! The new general secretary is a man, as the previous general secretary, Margaret McDonagh, has gone to work for the porn king who shelled out the hundred grand; shades of Helen Liddell, who quit as Scottish general secretary of the Labour Party and went to work for Robert Maxwell. Scottish general secretaries, like Scottish union secretaries, are appointed by London, not elected.

However, what is of more concern is that Labour still get loads of dosh from the trade unions, and they are being bailed out at present as the unions are handing over £100,000 to help pay Labour’s salaries; in addition there is a proposal that the unions buy the New Labour Party HQ, which is costing about £5 million. Now where are the unions getting all this cash, and why is it surplus to their requirements? When the unions can afford to lash cash like this, they must be the envy of many a hard-pressed businessman; on the other hand, the vast bulk of the money is obtained under false pretences. Most unions operate a "political levy" (nothing to do with the noble Lord) which every member pays; this is in the union rules, and by law, every union member can "opt out" of this levy. And there lies the rub; nobody "opts in", they have to pay it, willy nilly, and attempts to get a form to "opt out" will meet with astonishment, derision, "never heard of that", "must ask HQ", and a variety of other excuses and delaying tactics. Just think of the righteous spluttering indignation if any other political party, or business organisation tried to get money this way, look at the indignation of Labour MP s in the previous paragraph! State funding is perhaps more honest than legalised theft.

UP THE CREEK

During the first scare, the Agriculture Minister, who is also responsible for water, was missing; then the Health Minister was given charge under the pretext of public health. All in all, a guddle, and also a bit of a puzzle; the Agriculture Minister is Ross Finnie, a Liberal, who did a fair enough job during the foot and mouth crisis, or maybe he just looked good compared to the English shambles. That was the time when Henry McLeish tried to hand the water portfolio (the mind boggles at a portfolio of water) to Wendy Alexander, but she was too busy masterminding the Labour Party’s Westminster campaign, which was far more important than any old foot and mouth rubbish, so dump it on Ross Finnie, he’s only a Liberal.

In any event, although the SNP MSPs have been calling for Ross Finnie’s scalp, that will not happen; Mr McConnell now knows that he has a chalice full of poisoned water, so it will stay with Mr Finnie. It is a similar situation with the Justice Minister, Jim Wallace; he is still stuck with the prison conundrum, and the latest wee piece of news about Peterhead Prison will not fill him with joy. Peterhead has been made the "Beacon Site of the Month" by the UK Government Cabinet Office; this is a scheme for public sector excellence, and the Scottish Prison Service is ignoring the accolade. Well they could hardly trumpet its success when they want to close it, could they?

Wallace and Finnie are both being hung out to dry by the First Minister, and he knows he is on to a good thing; after all, last year Jim Wallace said publicly that there was no way that he would enter a coalition with the SNP, so he threw away any bargaining chips he had. He has also forgotten, if he ever knew, that Jack McConnell is dyed in the wool Labour, and hates other parties; he will leave them to stew in their own juice, while making encouraging noises. What makes for a delicious irony is that both Wallace and Finnie are having to push Labour policies that their own party and old Labour are opposed to; see Liberals - see political expediency - see schadenfreude

RECESSION ? WHAT RECESSION?

The chalice was offered to Jim Wallace when Wendy went, and he with uncharacteristic commonsense (the terms Liberal and commonsense are mutually exclusive) turned it down; perhaps at that time he did not see privateer prisons on the horizon. Anyway Iain Gray, quite a decent cove, was lumbered with it. The title is Minister for Enterprise, Transport and Lifelong Learning; the brief is: responsible for the economy, transport, business and industry including Scottish Enterprise, Highlands and Islands Enterprise, trade and inward investment, energy, further and higher education, public transport, roads, lifeline air and ferry services, lifelong learning and training. Minister for Science.

Quite a mouthful, handful, armful, and I would hate what his email address should be: just imagine-- iain.gray.msp@economytransportbusinessandindustryincludingscottishenterprise - all the way to Widdecombe Fair! Now Wee Wendy was a bit of a dynamo who buzzed about irritating everyone, and being praised by people who should know better, because at the end of the day all she is remembered for is Clause 2a (Section 28) which she made a bonny mess of; however, nobody could have made a success of that portfolio because it is just too big and unwieldy. Jack McConnell had loaded even more on to her, just to scunner her, but it’s no way to run a railroad; a report on the recession had been lying in Wendy’s in tray since 4 October last year, but we don’t know if she ever got round to reading it. It had been commissioned by Henry McLeish after 11 September, but then Henry had his own wee recession, and in the bloodbath that was Jack McConnell’s way of rewarding his cronies, it got overlooked.

So now it is official; Scotland is in recession, and while the Enterprise Minister says "Steady as she goes" there is no way he can devote the time to the problem; a sub-committee has been appointed - Wow! The solution to the recession is to be found in self help; none of the other European countries are in recession, why Scotland? The answer is that Scotland is ruled by Westminster, and that economic policies for the South east of England are seriously damaging Scotland. Belatedly, there is a realisation that all the money spent on inward investment was wasted; this has been the policy of successive Westminster governments, and after 40 years they have noticed that it doesn’t work!

FORTHCOMING EVENTS

Over this summer, Jim Mather, SNP Treasurer, and Andrew Wilson MSP, shadow minister for the economy, enterprise and lifelong learning, have been touring Scotland with the Economics of Independence Road Show, which has met with acclaim from the media and business. It is our intention that in the autumn we will be serialising their work on a weekly basis; as with "Talking Independence", we will go through it step by step. Jim Mather puts it this way, "You don’t need to be a mathematician or statistitian to understand or argue the case for independence, you just need to know the facts."

The Scottish National Party have the answers; maybe some day the Unionists will ask the questions, instead of indulging in shallow yah boo point scoring. Well, maybe......

OH YE OF LITTLE FAITH

The SNP commissioned a poll, by System Three, on attitudes to tax and spending in Scotland; a sample of 918 adults aged 18 and over was interviewed in-home at 42 sampling points throughout Scotland during the period 25 Jul - 4 Aug. The poll found the following:

70% of Scots back financial independence for the Scottish Parliament
22% of Scots back Westminster financial control
9% did not know.

Which country benefits more from being a part of the UK?

53% think England benefits more from us than we do from them
16% think Scotland benefits more from them than they do from us
20% believe that it’s eeksie-peeksie (authentic spelling)
13% don’t know

1% - much more than is fair
7% - a little more than is fair
29% - a fair share
31% - a little less than is fair
19% - much less than is fair
13% - don’t know 

So 50% of Scots think that Scotland gets less than her fair share of Government spending; the attitudes are shared across gender, age, social class and party allegiance groupings (more details on request).

A majority agree with the SNP call for financial independence; the Unionist parties wish to continue the Westminster dependency culture which breeds recession.

FOOT IN THE MOUTH NOTES

Don’t suppose they’ll be mollified by Irvine Welsh?

Elvis Presley earned £24.1 million last year; according to US business website Forbes.com "One might not think of death as an optimal career move, but for some celebrities, crossing over to the other side doesn’t hurt their income in the least."

They might have a wee problem spending the dough.

29 of the world’s biggest economic entities represent shareholders, as companies rather than countries dominate economies.

We know that Brazil is bankrupt, but what about Enron, World.Com, Marconi, and even our very own Railtrack; business empires rise and fall, but unlike countries there’s nothing left at the end of the day.

Ian Lang, former Tory Cabinet Minister, has just published his autobiography; he is now Lord Lang of Monkton of Merrick and the Rhinns of Kells, and before he entered politics he was a member of the Cambridge Footlights, where he performed with John Cleese, Bill Oddie, Peter Cook and others of that genre. He loved making people laugh.

We have a different bunch of clowns in power now.

Interesting little item in the Scotsman Diary column, anent David Steel (aka Lord Steel of Aikwood); it said "clad not in tartan and festooned with medals."

A KBE and a German Cross of Merit hardly merit the term "festooned"!

SSP one man band, Tommy Sheridan, is giving up his seat as a Glasgow councillor to concentrate on leading his party in Parliament now that the opinion polls show he might get companions.

Put not your trust in princes, politicians, opinion polls - or Glasgow councillors.

A London department store and a casino have bought "facial recognition software" to alert them when big spending customers enter their premises; managers can then rush out and give them extra attention.

The system may also be bought by New Labour; the Tories already have the "Alert, alert, mug approaching" down to a fine art.

George Foulkes, Labour MP for Carrick, Cumnock and Doon Valley, has been made a member of Her Majesty’s Privy Council, and will be entitled to be called a Right Honourable; it is only a couple of months since Mr Foulkes was fired as Deputy Secretary of State for Scotland, so the appointment is curious, to say the least.

High titles of state always remind me of Oliver Brown’s dictum "The Lord Privy Seal is neither a lord, a privy, nor a seal."

SYNOPSIS

RESULT CONFUSION AT UNIVERSITY BODY
Tue 13 Aug 02

A mix-up over the interpretation of this year's Scottish exam results could mean thousands of youngsters facing an anxious wait to find out if they have gained university places. A major investigation has been launched into how the Universities and Colleges Admissions Service (Ucas) managed to give a number of pupils more marks than they deserved. Ucas has suspended its clearance system and notified universities across the country of the problem. The Scottish Qualifications Authority (SQA), which issues exam certificates, said it understood Ucas had incorrectly interpreted Scottish data. The problems emerged as thousands of Scottish students received their results on Tuesday morning. SNP shadow education minister Michael Russell criticised the mix-up. "It is unforgivable for a body handling such sensitive and important information to make a mistake which will create great insecurity and worry for so many of Scotland's young people," he said. Mr Russell added: "Ucas is playing fast and loose with the future of a whole generation of Scotland's senior school pupils and it must get its act together fast."

NUCLEAR POWER PLANT SHUTS DOWN
Tue 13 Aug 02

A Scottish nuclear power station has been shut down because of vibrations in the gas circulation system, which cools the reactors. Reactor 1 at the Torness power station in East Lothian was closed down automatically on Monday afternoon. A second reactor has been out of action since May because of a similar problem. SNP shadow depute environment minister Fiona McLeod said that one less nuclear power station in Scotland has made absolutely no difference to power supplies. "The Scottish people have said time and time again that they don't want nuclear power and the closure of Torness without any impact on our power supplies confirms that we don't need it," she said. "This completely nails the myth peddled by New Labour scaremongers that without nuclear power, Scotland's lights would go out."

NEW CSA COMPUTER SYSTEM "FACING ANOTHER DELAY"
Tue 13 Aug 02

A long-awaited new computer system for the Child Support Agency may not be in operation until next summer, after running at least 50 million pounds over budget, it was claimed today. The 200 million pound system, designed to simplify and accelerate decisions on support payments by absent parents and developed by a private consortium under the Private Finance Initiative, was initially intended to be switched on in April. Shadow finance minister Alasdair Morgan today said that the prime justification for New Labour's policy of handing control of public services to private companies has been torn to shreds by the affair. "Ministers have repeatedly boasted that private companies will pick up the tab if anything goes wrong in a PFI deal but today's news shows that boast to be worthless," the MSP said. "It appears that big business cannot lose with New Labour's privatisation obsession with PFI, they reap the profits at the expense of public services however if anything goes wrong with the project it is the taxpayer who is left to carry the can."

EXAMS PROBE ORDERED AS SCOTS PASS RATES FALL
Tue 13 Aug 02

The number of Scots pupils passing Higher exams fell more than 2% this year, and today an investigation has been ordered to find out why. A breakdown of the figures showed the Higher pass rate before appeals was 69.7%, down 2.2% on last year. At Advanced Higher, the pre-appeal pass rate was 71.7% - a 2.8% drop on the 2001 figure. In Standard Grade, entries were down 0.7% to 456,219, but the number of people achieving grades 1-6 rose from 96.3% last year to 96.7% this year. SNP education spokesman Michael Russell said: "It would be natural any drop in standards would show up first in the Higher and Advanced Higher exams, which are the most difficult national tests. The education minister must rapidly explain why standards have fallen this year. If that fall is a result of an over-pressured system or because of an erosion of resources and support for Higher and Advanced Higher students in hard-pressed schools, the minister must act quickly to correct the situation."

Plans to slash the Executive's advertising budget were today announced after it emerged publicity spending soared more than 500% over the last two years. It emerged advertising spending had risen from 1.3 million pounds in 2000 to 6.6 million this year. The figures were revealed today in a written answer to a parliamentary question on Executive advertising by SNP backbencher Stewart Stevenson. The Banff & Buchan MSP said the figures showed the Executive was trying to "buy the elections" at Holyrood next May. Mr Stevenson asked the Executive in July how much had been spent on advertising by each ministerial department since May 1999 and how it measured its effectiveness. The Executive replied that it tested the effectiveness of advertising before and after campaigns and measured public response to websites, telephone helplines and call centres affiliated to such campaigns. Mr Stevenson said: "Labour were trying to buy the elections and now they've been found out. The fact that advertising has soared so steeply since they came to power is a clear attempt to raise the profile of Labour in advance of next year's elections. They have now even resorted to having NHS Scotland sponsor commercial television weather broadcasts. How ridiculous."

MSP SLAMS FAG AD MOVE AS FILM FESTIVAL OPENS
Tue 13 Aug 02

Shadow culture minister Michael Russell today slammed the decision to make a Scottish anti-smoking advert in the Czech Republic to save cash. The pop-video style advert for the Health Education Board for Scotland cost 166,000 pounds to make in Prague. The saving came at the cost of Czech extras - who were paid only 1 pound 47 an hour. The 50-second commercial features two teenagers lured into the apparently exotic world of smoking, witnessing the horrors of the long-term medical consequences of smoking in a nightclub. Speaking as the Edinburgh Film Festival prepared to open, Michael Russell said: "When public money is being used to produce these commercials there should be a contractual caveat that always seeks tenders from Scottish production companies and directors first and foremost." The SNP MSP added: "It seems wholly inappropriate that a health education board should accept a tender from a country which does not have to subscribe to regulations covering working hours, minimum wage, and health and safety. I don't think it is worth endorsing this sweatshop attitude just to save a few pounds."

PARLIAMENT LAUNCHES TOURISM PLACEMENT SCHEME
Mon 12 Aug 02

The Scottish Parliament today launched a four-day placement programme to give MSPs a better understanding of the tourism industry. SNP MSP for Central Scotland Michael Matheson started the programme this morning with a meeting at VisitScotland's offices in Edinburgh. The programme formed part of Holyrood's business exchange scheme which was launched last November to promote better understanding between MSPs and business organisations. Mr Matheson said: "I am looking forward to productive discussions with representatives of VisitScotland, Scottish Enterprise and BAA Scottish Airports. This exchange programme will allow me a look at tourism from the inside and gain a deeper understanding of the way the sector operates. I hope I will also be able to give VisitScotland a better idea about the work the Parliament does and the impact it has on tourism." Meanwhile SNP MSP Fiona Hyslop and North Tayside MP Pete Wishart today met local residents and businesspeople affected by the recent flooding in Pitlochry. "The recent flooding of the town has caused widespread damage to homes and businesses at the worst possible time - the height of the summer tourist season," Ms Hyslop said. The SNP duo warn the continued closure of the Highland Line will cause disruption to tourism further afield, as tourists travelling to Inverness and the Highlands will now have to take alternative transport. Mr Wishart said: "Engineers are working hard to reopen the line as soon as possible, however this situation is a reminder of why investment in our public transport network is vital."

BILLIONS LOST DURING LABOUR's "YEARS OF COMPLACENCY"
Tue 12 Aug 02

The SNP has published an analysis of growth in the world economy over the last two years. The figures highlight that in the months leading up to the current recession Scotland had already been growing more slowly than the world and European economies as a whole and slower than a host of competitor nations. SNP shadow economy minister Andrew Wilson said: "Our potential is great, but this complacent Labour establishment has presided over an extended period of relative decline in Scotland. The world economy has grown more than two and a half times faster than Scotland in the last two years; Ireland has grown nearly 7 times faster." The Central Scotland MSP added: "There is a growing consensus in Scotland behind the case for financial Independence. We need the same powers as every other nation so we can place ourselves at a competitive advantage. We need the chance to bring real power back to Scotland so that we can turn our economic underperformance around and actually deliver real change to the people of Scotland."

HUSH-HUSH PROBE INTO HOME RULE
Sun 11 Aug 02

Civil servants are secretly working on plans for an independent Scotland. Scottish Executive chiefs have authorized a study to look at how a breakaway Scotland would operate. And last night the SNP said the move meant independence was inevitable. A seven-strong team, earning around 350,000 pounds, are working on plans for possible future changes. The team's work was uncovered by SNP MSP Linda Fabiani who asked a series of parliamentary questions on how potential constitutional changes were being examined in Scotland. It is understood the civil servants, who will report back to ministers, have costed the "transfer" to independence and how Scotland would work alongside its former UK partners. Ms Fabiani said: "The Executive is admitting the inevitable. Scotland is moving towards independence - sooner rather than later."

LABOUR UNITES WITH SNP OVER "TOLL TAX SHAM"
Sun 11 Aug 02

West Lothian Labour and SNP groups have united in condemning the consultation on road tolls for Edinburgh as a "sham". In a joint statement, councillors said the proposed 2 pounds charge to drive into the Capital would be a "punitive tax". Meanwhile the SNP claimed to have found "overwhelming opposition" in West Lothian to road tolls. West Lothian SNP's Greg McCarra said: "We are determined to keep up the pressure as this idea has no support. All we have found is overwhelming opposition to what was seen as just another Labour tax."

McCONNELL ACCUSED OF COUNCIL "BRIBE"
Fri 9 Aug 02

The first minister has been accused of trying to "bribe" councils into embracing private finance schemes. The SNP made the attack after Jack McConnell pledged to create a back-up fund from which money will be released for public private partnerships (PPPs). He said that councils who oppose private finance schemes will be able to claim a share of the cash for building projects - if they change their stance. The SNP said the move showed that Labour is "running scared" of its alternative funding policy of not-for-profit trusts. The party's finance spokesman, Alasdair Morgan, said: "Jack McConnell is holding back money for public building projects so he can pursue his discredited privatisation scheme - a scheme which takes money out of public services and stuffs it into the pockets of private financiers. This is a clear indication that Labour are running scared of the SNP policy of not for profit trusts, which provide funds for public services at lower costs." Meanwhile SNP-controlled Clackmannanshire council leader Keith Brown accused the First Minister of "blatant discrimination" against local authorities which reject privatisation. "Every school the Executive plans to build could be built by a not for profit trust," he said. "But crucially the money that is creamed off in excess private profit will instead by re-invested in children's education. It is truly astonishing that having lost the argument, the First Minister is resorting to bully boy tactics to force councils down the privatisation route."